bright light city

Something tells me this is going to make an excellent story at the next pub night.

I've gotten pissed and woken up in some strange places before, but I never thought I'd actually make it all the way to America. Think I get bonus points for that. This definitely beats the time McLaggen woke up the boss's broom shed.

I'M MARRIED!

Sorry everyone, but Lily and me got kind of impatient and just eloped last night to the Star Trek Experience. We have pictures. Will dressed up. It was awesome.

Anyway we're going to have a wedding party soon to make up for the fact you all had to miss it. I'll give you a head's up on the date and everyone is invited. It will involve food, good company, and probably video games, because we're just that cool.

I'M MARRIED!

( Will Zimmerman )

( Lily Luna Potter )

I would like to issue a formal invitation to the ball my dear aunt Amelia and I will be hosting this coming Saturday at the Summers Estate. It will be a formal affair and proper attire is a requirement. I'd be more than happy to assist anyone who needs help finding a dress! It is my hope that this event will be an opportunity for us to all get better acquainted. Regards,

HARRIET BIRCHAM.

( filtered ONLY TO WOMEN )

No one kidnaps Draco Malfoy and gets away with it! You will be very sorry that you decided to mess with the Malfoys. I demand to be sent home at once; I have something very important to do and you're keeping me from fulfilling my duty. Also, I demand you remove this mark from my wrist! This is unacceptable! Release me this instant!!

I am so very glad that I was not turned into a girl. So. Very. Glad. Not that I wouldn't be a fantastic woman, mind you. But I couldn't have sex with my girlfriend if I was. At least, not sex in the way we're used to. *cough* I'm just glad I stayed the way I am.

If anyone needs me--which I doubt--I'll be in my lab plotting Horrible things and practicing my laugh.

[Edit: Strike-thrus were deleted.]

Alright, I can take an elaborate joke as well as anyone else, but whoever planted that portkey has the worst timing imaginable. Not only will you have to deal with me, but also with my formidable pregnant wife and her even more formidable mum. You have no idea what anger is until you've seen Molly Weasley on a rampage.

So let's get me home. If Ginny has that baby without me, it's going to get ugly and fast. I most likely won't be able or willing to save you.

Are you
Do you still have
We're having kids
Tell me you're not
I can't date a woman again.
You better not be prettier than

All right, Alex? Zenner hasn't had any fun with my fantastic husband, have they?