bright light city

( Filtered to the Normandy's Crew )
I understand now what Mr. Moreau meant by the good kind of overheating.

And your preoccupation with sex makes more sense. It's a pleasant experience.

( Filtered to Jim Kirk )
Thank you. You were very helpful.

I'm pretty sure when I went to bed last night it wasn't drunk, it wasn't here, and it wasn't alone. And yet I'm alone and somehow ended up with a tattoo.

Is this a prank the Captain day?

I - I would like, I mean, I demand an explanation! Where am I? Who is this Zenner Corperation? And more importantly, will someone please explain to me how it is that I seem to be on ... well.

On Earth.

You have no idea what you are getting into, or the lengths that Cerberus will go to retrieve me. It is in your best interest to return me to my ship immediately.

( Private to EDI )

I've been to Vegas before, but everything looks so ... retro. I approve of this grand adventure! It's not the first time I've been kidnapped, but it's the first time I've been taken and haven't felt kidnapped. At least, the first time it came with lots and lots of money and good food.

Anyone else here? Shep? Garrus? Taylor?

I have been watching television to learn more about Earth culture, but so far I find myself limited to 'Attack of the Show'. I find it difficult to turn over, and utterly impossible when Olivia Munn is on. Why is this?

And how do I contact Olivia Munn? I wish to speak to her about my ideas for the show and how her outfits might change. She is wearing far too much clothing, and she must be overheated. That is the reason.

Hello everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Inara Serra. I've noticed that there have been a lot of dating ads going up and I thought that I might actually arrange some get togethers for people. A sort of blind date night. If this is something you might be interested in, or it's something someone you know might be interested in, please contact me. Everything you say will be private and completely confidential.

[OOC: this is just the ic way of announcing this. If you haven't signed your characters up in this, please do so here. We need moar guys.]

Thought an old friend might be able to use this.

Me: Dashing example that real men wear make up, once messiah leader of kidnapping cage-lovers, lusty Latin lothario

Likes: L'Oreal ads because I'm worth it, camping in the rough, orange juice, making ominous and non-specific statements.

( photo under cut )

You: Any girl willing to accept she's not the prettiest one in the relationship. Doesn't ask questions.

Contact Richard Alpert.

I do not understand the purpose of these women seeking companionship on this network through brief, meaningless descriptions and qualifiers of suitable partners.

Is this common amongst humans, Shepard?

I admit that I am having some difficulty adapting to my new circumstances. Perhaps you could assist me in better understanding the subtleties of being human?

Sheperd-Commander? Sheperd-Commander?

Commander?

I do not understand.