bright light city

Oh, c'mon England! That was utter shite!

Children could tend goal better than that!

I already hate Vuvuzelas.

I might have drank a lot of beer since lunchtime since there's test match cricket on the radio, and podcasts and things, and then gone out and bought a lot of beer and put it in the kitchen. Nick and Connor and Abby and Lester but not Sid or Nancy or Rex, there is a lot of beer in our kitchen and you should all drink some because it's there to be drunk, okay?

I hope Sid and Nancy don't eat bottles. I have a load for the bottlebank.

Today, in between the beer and cricket and beer, I thought about either getting a job like Connor did (not exactly like Connor did since I don't want to work in a computer-bits shop) or seeing if I could get back into university maybe. I kind of miss taking Nick's classes. Weird.

World Cup soon! Oh, we need football teams here as well.

Oh no, no, no, no... wait this actually works. Las Vegas is a lot better than certain other places. I was actually dredding calling where I was home. These Zenner people were nice enough to bring Sid and Nancy to keep me company. Not that being kidnapped is ever nice. It makes me wonder if they were watching me because they weren't where I was taken. Anyway it's better than being alone.

'Ello everyone, I'm Connor.

Wait.. Abby! They left Abby?

( Private: Nick )

( Private: Cutter, Abby and Lester )

You know, this whole being kidnapped thing is kinda fun. Not like anomaly exciting though. Nothing like a good puzzle to get your blood pumping. The only thing missing is Connor and Claudia. Least I've got Rex here with me. Don't know what I'd do without him. Still, this place is nice, but it's nothing like my place.

My name's Abby. Hello. Out of curiosity, can I get a role-call? What's your name, where are you from, what do you do for a living?

Well, I can't say I'm not relieved, not least because it's something I won't be having to explain to Lady Lester when I get back home. That was a prospect I was not relishing.

I did have rather impressive breasts, however. Although I do say so myself.

Zenner? That another one of your names, Ben? What's up with the tattoos? Last I saw, you were into branding.

This isn't funny. I could get into I have a son to look after. Jack's going to be wondering where I am.

Result!

The following names have been added to the list of my humans.

Nick Cutter
Stephen Hart
Anya Jenkins

The usual threats of guaranteed violence and bloody vengeance apply if any of them are harmed.

Well... as the saying goes, bugger me.

Of course, this is an observation, not an instruction.

I fail to see why I seem to have been aged somewhat as well as rendered female. However, I shall be very drunk in my room should anyone require my presence/opinion/advice.

God help us...

Oh thank god

Right. That's settled then.

( Private for Cutter and Lester. )

I suppose this was inevitable, really. Fuck.

Right, is there anything other gender-swapped people think I should know about being a girl? I've already worked out the obvious differences since they're, well, obvious. Different body shape/size (I think I'm going to need to get a bra before I can go running again, but I'm in no danger of blacking my own eyes, and getting new clothes is going to be awkward since I have no idea about clothes sizes), different way of walking, sitting down for a piss, so on and so forth. I've only been awake for an hour, though, so it's more than safe to say I've missed something. Any hints/tips/suggestions?

I'm going to go make coffee, steal Cutter's whisky (assuming I can reach the fucking bottle now, bloody hell) and see if I can somehow fall asleep, wake up again and find that I'm back in my own body.

Right, so, I was going to come on the network and be all "WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS GOING ON?" but then I read all the other "WHAT THE FUCK" things, so it's not just me, so it's them Zenner fucks dicking about.

Still, can't hurt.

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS GOING ON?

Jesus, I have tits.

George, are you okay or did it get you as well?

Oh my god...

What the bloody fuck happened?

Ah dinnae ken what the hell is going on, but this is so wrong!

Wesley was correct. This 'dating' before fornication is not a waste of energy. It was most informative. My notes are quite extensive.

( Stephen )
I take it you're the reason I've been set up on a date?

( Illyria )
Hello.

To whom it may concern,

I am Sir James Lester, a British Home Office official working within highly confidential and protected fields.

I don't have time for this, so I am giving you fair warning that you could be creating an international Incident and will be held to account by Her Majesty's Government who will very likely do bugger all, but could technically create what we in the profession refer to as a "hubbub".

Consider yourself told, whoever you are, and kindly arrange for my repatriation at your earliest convenience.

Alternatively...

You've had your fun, Scrappy. Now play nicely and let's get back to some semblance of routine if not sanity. Don't make me leave the room to come looking for you.

Hello everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Inara Serra. I've noticed that there have been a lot of dating ads going up and I thought that I might actually arrange some get togethers for people. A sort of blind date night. If this is something you might be interested in, or it's something someone you know might be interested in, please contact me. Everything you say will be private and completely confidential.

[OOC: this is just the ic way of announcing this. If you haven't signed your characters up in this, please do so here. We need moar guys.]