bright light city

So, the new digs are almost up. It's got everything we could want, save actual space (and not the storage kind.)

Who's ready to move?

Would like to perform test. Since I can now pass beyond city limits, would like to test range of pain induction technology. Need volunteer that has recently arrived, earlier the better. Must be willing to endure intense pain.

Praise the Enkindlers. Someone out there has to love me enough to bless me with man-parts, and it's definitely not Zenner.

I'm almost sad I haven't turned into a girl! I was looking forward to some quality time with myself.

Then again I'm also so hopped up on painkillers that I can barely see straight so maybe my judgment is a little cloudy, but I'm so jealous of Garrus and his super-fine lady body. Garrus, stay a girl all the time, k.

Zenner has some quad.

No. No, no, no. What happened, I didn't really live ten years ago? I'm in the Attic and they thought this would be a funny time to bring me back? It was all a dream? I just died? Whatever it is, it's not funny.

And if this is real, I need to go back where I came from. I was in the middle of something.

Okay, I get it, I feel empathy for the opposite sex, etc etc etc. If I can't be a turian, can I at least have everything else back? I'm not okay with this. It's not funny anymore.

Quick, someone come over here and validate me.

Can anyone use the shooting range on the roof?

WHOA WHOA WHOA. NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE BLEEDING. WHY DO HUMANS BLEED?

Now my favorite pants are stained blue. I am not all right with this.

This is how I feel today.

Uh. No.

Shepard-Commander, my physical form has been altered. I have gone from genderless to male to female in a very short time and I am duly traumatised. I am currently mourning the loss of certain....physical attributes.

Have you encountered anything similar with the Normandy crew, Shepard-Commander?

Hey. Lee.

You're creeping people out. Knock it the frak off.

If you don't, I'm not responsible for what happens to you.

[Locked from Lee]
What the FRAK?

[Helo and Sam]
Get your frakkin' boots on. We're going out.

I have discovered ice cream.

This is the best....the best thing. Taste is very, very good and I need to eat more ice cream. I like vanilla and mint and especially chocolate, and it chocolate could further be combined with bacon. I will try this.

And also, chocolate sauce.

'Kay, maybe I should check the phone book or something, but I've got a feeling that most people here aren't in the phone book. So if I'm looking for someone, this is how I have to go about it.

I'm looking for a doctor who's qualified to deal with brittle bone disease. I'm off my regular meds (from the future!), and I figure I need to find someone and find a new regimen before my bones get weaker than they already are and snap like toothpicks. So just some maintenance. I've had some surgery, had some metal rods implanted to brace my shins, which tend to be the worst, and I can walk without crutches. So, look, not a hopeless case, but everyone's been telling me to go find a doctor, so -- is there a doctor in the house?

Someone tell me where that bitch is.

( Filtered to the Normandy's Crew )
I understand now what Mr. Moreau meant by the good kind of overheating.

And your preoccupation with sex makes more sense. It's a pleasant experience.

( Filtered to Jim Kirk )
Thank you. You were very helpful.

Fucking. Cerberus.

I'm guessing these Zenner assholes are somehow related to them or am I just that fucking lucky?

( filtered to original Normandy crew: Ashley, Kaidan, Garrus, Tali, Liara, and Joker )

( Commander Shepard )
Hey. I'm back. I'm sorry I ran off like that, I know that you were just explaining the situation and I shouldn't have taken it out on you the way I did. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, not without more information. Cerberus is just a name with a lot of stigma attached to it, you know? They're not the kind of group I would expect you to work for. With. Whatever. But I trust you more than anyone. I trust your judgment and I trust that you wouldn't accept the situation unless you absolutely had to do it to get your mission done.

I'm glad you're here, Shepard. I'm glad that I'm here.