bright light city

Hello?

Um...what happened?

OH MY FREAKING GOD SOMEONE KIDNAPPED ME AND GAVE ME A TATTOO!

Someone tell me what's going on right now, or I'll cobbler you!

This definitely isn't heaven. I'm underage in Vegas and I'm still fat. And it can't be hell, because this is decidedly less fire-and-brimstoney than, you know, THE WAY I DIED. So, the only conclusion I can come to is that I was right, there is no god, and someone's playing a seriously hilarious joke on me. With all the superhero extra-dimensional hoo ha going on in the world, there is definitely a reasonable, if stupid and very unfunny explanation for this.

I want my fucking dinosaur.