bright light city

NO. NO NO NO. NO.

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE SAFE THIS ROUND

NOW THERE'S A THING AND IT'S DANGLING OH GOD I AM GOING TO VOMIT

Hello?

Um...what happened?

OH MY FREAKING GOD SOMEONE KIDNAPPED ME AND GAVE ME A TATTOO!

Someone tell me what's going on right now, or I'll cobbler you!

If this is some sort of elaborate hoax, it is most unusual that the Majesdanians would choose an Earth location for their tricks. If this is the case, I request that you cease with your useless theatrics; if I am slated for execution, simply execute me. Do not add insult to injury by branding me.

What the hell?

This definitely isn't heaven. I'm underage in Vegas and I'm still fat. And it can't be hell, because this is decidedly less fire-and-brimstoney than, you know, THE WAY I DIED. So, the only conclusion I can come to is that I was right, there is no god, and someone's playing a seriously hilarious joke on me. With all the superhero extra-dimensional hoo ha going on in the world, there is definitely a reasonable, if stupid and very unfunny explanation for this.

I want my fucking dinosaur.