Dunwich: A Creepypasta Panfandom Game

Hey assholes, where's my Meeseeks boxes? I'm waiting.

I might've fucked up.

I've got a little Meseeks issue in the Sheriff's Department. You know the little office back behind the break room?

I've got a bunch of the things in here and they're freaking out.

Hey, quick question, what the fuck?

Follow up questions: where the fuck, when the fuck, why the fuck, who the fuck, how the fuck?

If this is Dunwich's idea of a sick joke, it's not funny.

This place can go to hell.

John - he's in - he's in surgery right now at the hospital.

I don't know if he It's critical.



[ooc tw note; there will be discussions of extreme violence in the comments including but not limited to - fire, burns, gun violence, physical trauma, blunt trauma, etc]

[Dunwich PD]

A friend and I went swimming in Dark Score lake last night, and found a body. Looked like it'd been there for some time. Seemed like a local. Also seemed like something we should report.

(backdated to Tuesday 03.19, 4AM)

( Text to Rhonda )

Are there bears in this area of the country?

I know this is low stakes compared with everything else going on, unless it isn't? It was a really large brown bear. Like really ... big.

So has anybody else ever got totally mindfucked into remembering things that haven't happened to them yet or am I just having a particularly lucky day?



HOPPER

Hey, I know this isn't the best time but I need a few days off.

Sorry.


PD

Off for a bit. Don't burn the place down while I'm gone.

If anyone sees Lt. Commander Data, please let me know how he's doing? I'm worried he may be malfunctioning.


[RICK SANCHEZ]

I think something might be off with his programming or maybe he was damaged somehow. Can you please help?

Let's play Dunwich Would You Rather.   It's a simple game of making a choice between two options. The options are hard to choose between, and also fun, nothing too personal. I ask a question, you answer it, then you can ask a question. Anyone can play.

Here's the question:
Would you rather wear a lobster costume on really, really high stilts or wear a lobster costume with really, really long lobster legs strapped to your back?  I actually saw both on locals, one in the parade and one on a pageant contestant.

So are big to-dos and drama a regular occurrence around here? Feels less supernatural and more day-time soap opera.

Must say I was not anticipating a brawl to erupt the same night we ran out of lobster at Todash. I guess some people are very serious indeed about their seafood...

Jokes aside, I heard some of our own were involved? I do hope everyone is alright... and won't be doing that again. Bev and I may have to ban you from the premises if you can't behave.

ETA: In fact and I hope she'll back me on this the first rule of the new and improved Todash Tavern is No Fighting.

ETA 2: Err, I may have buried the lede. Yay, bank loans?

[Mike]

How's our guest? Lobster parade came and went, so I assume he'll be leaving today, right? Have you seen him?

Hey cats. I'm Rhonda. I like coffee, the color black, and spoken word. Oh, and I am dead, really, very dead.

Digging the cosmic horror theme this place has going on.

JORDAN & RHONDA

"Who died?"

WHAT: Jordan meets a ghost(ish)
WHERE: Outside a cemetery
WHEN: Saturday
WARNINGS: Death, swearing, allusions to sex, brief mention of grooming/murder/in the backstory
STATUS: Complete
( Read more... )

I'm going to wrestle a lobstrosity.

Just letting everybody know.

I'm just done with these lobsters.

I mean, attempted murder, sure, whatever. But the property damage? I'm pretty sure one of them chomped through my bike tire.

😡

Has anyone heard anything about a Valentine's Day party? Is anyone interested? If so, I'd be more than happy to host one. My house is large enough to accommodate, but I can see if there's space somewhere at MIST, if that is preferable.

Upon superficial perusal of the network, I am overjoyed at being proven right once again!—That humanity is, at its core, a trite, unsurprising, and mundane species with very little capacity for nuance and innovation. Why, look at how you've all sequestered yourselves in the humdrum of monotonous living, foolishly trying to feed your starving souls by chewing on stodgy remnants of bromidic interactions and abstruse small talk. How tedious! How commonplace! How drab!

How perfectly t y p i c a l .

You'd think after billions of years I'd finally be accustomed to this! But no! I still hold out hope that your primitive bipedal species will one day break the cycle. Alas, today is clearly not that day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

That being said, those of you who attended my soiree have made it onto my NICE LIST. And those of you who declined my generous invitation, well, perhaps after a small demonstration of my charity your manners will show some improvement. Until then, try not to let my presence gnaw at you.

It will, of course.

And because I assume most of you lack the clarity of perception, allow me to introduce myself.

I AM Q.

And despite the fact that Jean-Luc isn't here, I have decided to stick around, as they say, and continue the Trial of Humanity. Best of luck to all of you. I'd say the jury is out, but it's very clearly in.

On a related note—who was going to tell me that young Spock has abs?!

DAHJ ASHA AND JORDAN LI:

Hey dumbdumbs. You good?

This isn't me giving a shit about

Just reply so I don't want to collect Dahj's tech

Fuck this

I'm pretty sure today's magical mystical bundle of fucked up fun is actually Satan's Fleshlight.

In two days it will be Krampusnacht!
I was thinking of making some food and have a bonfire to celebrate. Just need a big fur coat and some horns. You know, something to raise spirits for the holidays.

To those of us who are inhabitants (or, in some cases, frequent visitors) of the Pickman House:

Fret not. You will not be un-homed, nor will some stranger come around claiming they have deed and ownership of the place now that Mobius is gone has returned to his timeline.

I have it.

Nothing will change, everything will be as it was before beyond, perhaps, some minor cosmetics.

I'm hardly Mobius, I realize.
Still, I've taken it upon myself to move to Apartment 101 if you have any questions or concerns.

There are some openings now for front desk as well as security. I'm willing to re-work the hours and shifts scheduled to be less unfortunate for all. If you're interested - well.

Your friendly neighborhood landlord,
Loki

Tw: paranoia and conspiracy theory. Under a cut if you want to ignore, but not filtered

( under here! )

So, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm going to go stock up on Vitamin D supplements before I start being deficient. Not that I think I'm going to get brittle bones, but still.

I guess, does anyone need anything while I'm going out? I'm kind of indestructible so if there's stuff going bump in the night, I don't mind doing some deliveries. I'm bored.

I've never blacked out before, and I've got to say, I'm not a fan. I also feel like I was robbed of some kind of really good party or something, if I was going to forget a weekend I should've at least gotten fucked up for that. I didn't even wake up in bed with a stranger.

It's kind of bullshit.