Dunwich: A Creepypasta Panfandom Game

Let's play a game, shall we?

Call it a Friday meme.

Kill, marry, fuck. Dunwich style.

Color me curious and bored.

As I don't know many here, allow me.

Kill: Sam Winchester
Marry: I'd say Castiel. We got along smashing at one point.
Fuck: Dean, of course.

Okay so liiiiiike uhmmmmm, who pushed a button they weren't supposed to push and broke the multiverse? Because while I'm not complaining about waking up to the sight of a naked man, especially when he looks like my ex-husband from the neck down, I don't have a spaceship or a portal gun, this isn't an apocalypse or the end of the world, and my alien radar is so strong and I don't know who to punch, threaten or yell at right now because I'm about to miss a date with my girlfriend. And what the fuck is up with these creepy-as-shit vampires? Totally not cool, guys.

How do you pronounce Parmesan?

[ATTEMPTED LOCK TO NICK; ACCIDENTALLY LOCKED TO RICK]

I was thinking maybe you might want to hear these holotapes from home. There were a few that were a lot of stuff about my Vault but some of them that I found, they seemed like they were about the rest of the world.

Like this one?

"D.B. Co still at it in Mass. The Borers have almost dug deep enough but I don't think they know what they're getting into."

I don't know what any of it means but maybe you want to hear them?

Roxxcart employee discount this month is for cheese. Oddly specific, I know, but Dunwich gonna Dunwich. Since I don't eat... is anyone interested? I don't want to flood MIST with cheddar if no one's into that.

EDIT: We're now out of Parmesan.

[Lucy]

Thanks for the other night. I know people aren't exactly chomping at the bit to see Dirty Dancing on the big screen. I owe you one.

[Meggan]

Hey. Just checking in. Hope you're doing okay.

[Theo]

How've you been? How's Luke?

Hey assholes, where's my Meeseeks boxes? I'm waiting.

I might've fucked up.

I've got a little Meseeks issue in the Sheriff's Department. You know the little office back behind the break room?

I've got a bunch of the things in here and they're freaking out.

If anyone can sit me down and explain to me exactly how magic can influence and tamper with alien tech, they should do so now.

Because it should be fucking impossible.

Well damn, Diana.

Uhm. I need help with my Mr Meeseeks.

I think I broke him.

As in he's outright sobbing.

Okay what the hell?

This stupid box thing. What am I even looking at?

I picked it up, and this thing is now chattering at me. Meseeks? Does that mean anything to anyone? And how the hell do I make it go away?

( I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! )

This place is shit.

That's it.

That's the post.

Where the shock am I?

[Ruby Lucas]

Hi. Sorry to bother you, but Lyla told me to get in touch with you. She said you'd be able to help.

Has anyone seen a vigilante running around town at all? Dressed in black, wears a cape, stick in the mud? Goes by Batman? I only ask because his car is currently parked in my driveway. With the keys inside. And if this is a test, I am too weak to resist.

[ Sylvie & Ivy ]

Joyride in the Batmobile??

Does anyone here know how to make contact lenses?

My positronic software is malfunctioning. I shall spend approximately 7. the day attempting to add sub-routine - I believe common parlance readily refers to this process as a 'software upgrade'.

Stan Uris

It appears that being kissed by a rusalka caused my ethical sub-routines to fail temporarily yesterday. And it is human convention to apologize Would you accept my sincerest apologies for my behavior, Stan?

I don't know why the fuck I'm telling everyone I expected more out of an old-fashioned burger.

[ROMANOVA]
Mark me down for Black Rock beach.

[Rick Sanchez]
Romanovaff told me you're the asshole to see about a weapon's upgrade. Are you?

I have successfully rebooted and re-calibrated myself, and have regained control of my facilities. But I must thank you for helping my daughter search for me. I appreciate your help.

^{TO Q}
O absent presence, Q is not here;
False flattering hope, that with so fair a face
Bare me in hand, that in this orphan place
Q, I say Q, should appear.
What say’st thou now? Where is that breezy cheer?

[UNDER 20s]

For the duration of this crisis, I have taken the liberty to organize food deliveries to your current domiciles. I will caution you however, that the chocolate ice cream is intended for the freezer. I do apologize for the added hassle, but chocolate milkshakes lose their consistency after a while.

But should you have need of either me or Erwin, please make contact at any time of day. I have no need to hallucinate vividly at night.

^{OOC NOTE - Original sonnet by Sir Philip Sidney, altered for Q-y needs.}

Doctor.

I don't remember which of y

Did you ever get that box finished?

JULIA

What if I needed to actually kill a god. How do I do it?

If anyone comes across a statue that looks suspiciously like a person turned to stone, can you let us know?


[MIST + DUNWICH PD]

There's at least two statues of locals that look like they've been turned to stone. I'm trying to find out if there are any others but maybe the police can block off the areas and keep the statues safe until we know more?

MIST researchers, we should see what we can find out.

[ANYONE WITH MAGIC, OCCULT, SUPERNATURAL BACKGROUNDS]

Anyone have experience with people turned to stone?

If anyone sees Lt. Commander Data, please let me know how he's doing? I'm worried he may be malfunctioning.


[RICK SANCHEZ]

I think something might be off with his programming or maybe he was damaged somehow. Can you please help?

A friend has said repeatedly that I should not be afraid to ask for help if I need it, so
I'm asking... How do you convince your heart to not love someone anymore? I've tried logic and tequila and neither have been successful. Time is proving to not be my friend either.

I've been sitting on this when I probably shouldn't have been but well, for one, I was in denial and then...I guess it was mostly denial and wanting it all to just go away on its own. But its not. I think its actually worse.

But I need some help coming up with ways to trap and contain a god.

Back home I used Pandora's box to do that but I don't have that here, so. That's a no go.

And like to add to the problem, the last time we kind of dealt with him here he made half of us go crazy so we probably need to account for that too.

And he might have a partner now. Or a rival. Not quite sure about their relationship just yet.

But yeah, suggestions?

I am sick and tired of this doll. Can somebody please help me destroy it? I think it needs to be more than just burned- there's some kind of-

I think the mirror thing that's come after me before is possessing this doll. But it isn't all the time, so I need to-




I just want this all to end. Please.

WHY THE HELL WON'T THIS PLACE LET ME BUILD MY SUBTERRANEAN LAIR? I don't want to have to get a fucking mortgage just to have SPACE to do the things I need to do.

I'm just done with these lobsters.

I mean, attempted murder, sure, whatever. But the property damage? I'm pretty sure one of them chomped through my bike tire.

😡

I am somewhat perplexed by this social gathering. I understand the social and biological imperative for humans to gather in groups, but the failure to understand the precise function of the Lobster Festival other than merriment and partaking in the local cuisine.

Is there more, other than the economical windfall this may bring the town?

But Enid, I believe I may have need of your wisdom regarding 'content' now.

[RONNIE & NANCY, SEPARATELY]

I do not wish to pry, but simply inquire as to whether you have been been well since your ordeal. I may not know much of human emotions, but I have often been told that I am easy to vent ^{[TO QUOTE THE URBAN DICTIONARY: 'To vent is to let off steam by saying everything that's on your mind, usually out of anger.' Its alternate definition would be ill-advised on a starship.]} to.

[RICK]

Dahj previously asked you to You previously mentioned a granddaughter. Would you be willing to give pa I am afraid that I may require parenting advice, Mr Sanchez. Would you be willing to give it?

[Q of the Q]

Please accept my sincerest regrets that I was not able to welcome you to Dunwich, Q. Have you been well here?

[THEO CRAIN]

I hope I am not disturbing you, Miss Crain. May I ask if you are comfortable with androids?

So the wards at my place were pretty much eaten last month.

Anyone available to help me put new ones back up? I'll pay cash?