Quick updates from the phone of Malachi Allen:
1. I'm sorry if you've lost a someone dear. I'm prepared to offer brief consolation in the shape of a malt shake or a listening ear.
1. Work work work. work work work. You know how it goes.
3.
I don't think we've reached the point of familiarity where I warn vampires about blood bags with specific ID numbers like we'd talk about food brands I had a conversation with a co-worker yesterday about vampires and how younger vampires would require (college-level) history classes in order to keep up appearances and conversation with older vampires. From experience, I'm going to say 'nobody cares and if they do, they're old elitist fucks that you don't need to be hanging with in the first place', but I'm also going to say that if you're a younger looking vampire, you do need lessons in order to just not stick out like a sore thumb. Unless sticking out's your thing, but no 23-year old's going to talk like someone who left his high school days behind in the forties, and from a strictly observational point of view, too many of us kind of get stuck in a rut. Where's this going? I have no idea.
2. More importantly, I dropped a glass bottle of liquid soap this morning on my bathroom floor and I have no idea how to clean it up without smacking my chin against the tiles again. What am I doing with a glass bottle of soap? Uh, that's not very important right now. I JUST WANT TO STOP SLIPPING AND SLIDING. WATER DOES NOT HELP. ALL MY TOWELS ARE SOAKED AND POSSIBLY RUINED. HELP.ME.