'Kay, so, the world may not need my former so-secret-that-you-can-go-down-to-the-li
brary-and-find-out-what-it-is occupation here, but it does seem to need something else, and
stat. It's time I moonlight as a teacher of the black arts of sarcasm and pop culture 101. And in case you're curious, that's only 90% sarcastic, I'd actually be down to help anyone learn all there is to know about being a functioning, sarcasm-toting member of make believe society. Also, I'm perky and full of wit. Guaranteed to be a cool teacher, and I promise to be extra awesome if you bring me jelly donuts.