Don't ever, ever Google yourself.
My mind is blown. The Vampire Diaries, fanfiction, pictures, youtube. Holy shit, I am some sort of pop culture icon. It just goes to prove how many women get all swoony over the bad boy. Pretty fucking awesome day to be me, except for those works of fiction regarding my brother and I. Those are not even close to true - NONE OF THEM. Those are visuals I don't want to see again.
I need a drink before my head explodes.