Network comm for The Land of Make Believe

I'm a character in a fiction book. As if being snatched wasn't enough now I've got to deal with this....

How interminably long is winter break? For Merlin's fucking sake. Does anyone want an obnoxious teen to come bother them for, god, an hour? I'll take an hour's peace.

His latest talents include blowing bubbles with his spit and marveling at my disgust, making weird clicking sounds and claiming he's learning to speak 'Velociraptor', and asking 'are we there yet?' in song - we aren't even going anywhere!!!

Help.

Bloody hell I've the worst luck imaginable. First I'm taken by a time traveling - reality hopping train and now a bloody castle...Am I a magnet for this phenomenon or something? Right then. I'm Tonks. Who here can explain all this to me?

James and Sirius, this isn't funny anymore! I don't know what you two have done, but it's not funny! SEND ME BACK RIGHT NOW! Yes, it's a clever prank and yes, I've finally figured out how to work this thing you left here for me to talk to you guys with. Who are all those other people showing up on it?

Anyways, I'm sick of it and I've got classwork to do! Why didn't you test it out on someone else besides me? You normally use Peter, or go and pick on Snape.


[Added in about 20 minutes later]
Guys, honestly... I've got a lot of potions work to do and you know I'm rubbish at it. Where did you two send me? There's people in the halls I've never seen before and I KNOW I'm not at Hogwarts. FIX THIS IMMEDIATELY OR I'M TELLING PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL!


[Added an hour later]
JAMES POTTER AND SIRIUS BLACK! I WILL HEX YOU INTO NEXT YEAR IF YOU DON'T GET ME BACK TO HOGWARTS THIS INSTANT! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!


[Added 2 hours later]
If you found out about my secret, I'm sorry! I can explain everything. Just bring me back. Please???

Attention, sprats! Are there any of you lot who can't swim, and would like to learn? Or maybe you're not a strong swimmer and would like to get better?

Yes, this is a thinly-veiled excuse to get into the pool as much as possible. And I'm fed up with listening to certain young people (DANIEL) whinging about the heat all the time. So, swimming lessons it is, if anyone wants them. Don't worry, I'm an excellent swimmer. As is Daniel, so he can help.

[Filtered to Adults]

So...

Just a little survey sort of thingy. For the sake of discussion, let's say there's someone you went to school with who you've never gotten along with because he's a greasy git obsessed with the dark arts. And, hypothetically, that person turns out to be someone who is...yeah, just about as dirty rotten evil as it is possible to be. In fact, he's a member of the...er...let's say "organization" that cold-bloodedly murdered your best mate and his wife, and tried to murder their infant son. Oh. And, just for fun, let's add in that this organization framed you for their betrayal and the murder of a bunch of innocent people, and sent you to a horrible prison full of soul-sucking demons.

Okay. So the question is, after the above has happened, would it be reasonable to expect you to be bright and chummy with this schoolmate? Or would a little bit of vitriol and righteous hatred indignation be appropriate?

Just wondering, you know, is all.

( Filtered to anyone who knows magic, HP or otherwise )

I start school today for the summer term. I really am so excited.

Filtered to Ron, Harry, Tonks, Lily, James, Sirius, Remus

I've offered to help with a wedding. Fireworks and decorations, since it's easier for those of us with magic. Would anyone be willing to help?

So...Just a public service announcement since apparently people have misunderstood a good deal of what I've said since I arrived.

I never said, nor have I ever intended to hurt children. Seriously, what kind of monster do you think I am? I might not like them. True. I might hate who they grow up to become. But I'm not going to hurt a bloody child, okay? Bloody hell.

[Private to Hermione]

I really am truly sorry for how my words came across to you. I'm utterly ashamed of myself, even though how they sounded and what I meant were two different things. I've heard nothing but good things about your talents, and I'm quite sure that it's true that you're the brightest witch of your age. I hope you can forgive me.

[Private to Regulus]

Why didn't you tell me Kreacher was here? And if you don't answer this, I'm going to find your room and hunt you down. Your choice.

anyone know where to go buy kid clothes? squirt's already worn clean through his socks and working on the knees of his jeans.

Huh.

Well, it's not Azkaban, so I can't complain.

Why are men so impossible?!

Well that wasn't as bad as it could have been. Being stuck in a museum, there are worse places.

The moon. It's the same here as it is at the Castle.

D'you guys think we could be in some freaky alternate reality?

I'm beginning to think this forest goes on forever. Either that, or I'm just starting to wander around in circles. I've seen a few of the faeries flitting about, but none of them have spoken to me. I'm not even sure if they can talk or not. I can hear some drums off in the distance, so I'm considering heading in that direction to see what I can find.

Do any of the rest of you see any sort of distinctive landmark? If we can find a way to meet up, we could make a plan for how to deal with this situation. And there's always safety in numbers.

Thankfully the full moon is quite a ways off, so at least I won't have to worry about that for a while.

Has anyone started a list yet of who all is here?

Blaine!!!! Finn!!!!! Rachel!!!!!

I don't know where I am but I need to get home now. I really can't be here. My fiance is back at the castle.

This can't be happening. Please. I need to go back.

I'm not certain I'm fond of this change of scenery.

[And then a few moments later, much more quietly, as though she's forgotten she's still connected to the network.] Though, in some ways, it seems closer to home.

...What?

Clearly I've gone mental

Am I in- no, that's ridiculous, right?

I have a bag of red shells, I'm at...-

A fairy just flew past my face.

Am I seriously in Neverland or is this place fucking messing with my dreams, as well?

[beat]

...Where's Nina?

The Land of Make Believe? Honestly? Sirius if this is another of your pranks, I really will strangle you this time! I understand that you're bored, but Dumbledore was insistent that you stay put.

I'm assuming you left the mobile here for me so you could laugh yourself silly while monitoring me. Where in blazes did you get these things from? I have to admit though, you've really outdone yourself this time. This has easily got to be the most elaborate stunt you've ever pulled.

Going out.