Network comm for The Land of Make Believe

I don't want to leave here, because I know I'm going back home to die and that terrifies me.
I love Lils and Harry and Pads and Moony more than life and I know I'd do the same thing again if it meant they stayed alive.
I can't believe I have grandchildren. They're great, and I love spending time with them but sometimes I have to pretend that they're not related to me because Harry isn't even 18 months old in my head, and the whole time travel thing in this place is confusing enough to give me a headache.
Sometimes I miss Pete.
I miss Moony all the time.
Snape, I can't stand you, and I know the feeling's mutual. The only reason I've left you alone is because I know it would upset my wife and I do try not to ever do that. But you're a dick. I really think you should know this in case you were somehow unaware of your dickishness.

I really wish I hadn't said all this over the network.

Is anyone else nervous about school? I know it won't be quite the same as starting over as a first year, but is it muggle school, or magic school? And if it's just muggle school, who's going to make sure we keep up with our magic studies? I don't want to get any more behind.

I don't wanna give up, I really don't. I don't wanna lose everything. I know I gotta believe there'll be a time when stuff matters again, when food has a taste and the sun has warmth as well as light and the grass is a giant cushion.

But it burns, all the time, and I don't know how to make it stop.

I can make anyone do anything and I can't make one man stay put. So power... this power is a mockery, right?

Maybe all power is. No one can really hold on to a single thing we have and the ones with power are the last to learn.

I'm scared to get too close to the edge in case I forget I wanna stay.


I'm scared to be happy in case he feels betrayed.

Seven years. It took me seven bloody years to finally see what was right in front of my face all along. We survived the battle and things were finally going to be good. We were finally together and even though Fred and Remus and Tonks and countless others had died we were finally going to be together and then I got brought here before we even had the chance. When she was here I thought this place couldn't be that bad if Hermione was here, but then she slipped through my grasp again. I miss her so much and I don't know what to do half the time. I don't even have Harry around to help me keep my mind off her. Luna and Neville are here, but I can't hang out with Neville like back home. And even though I don't think Luna is completely Looney anymore, she was closer to Harry and Ginny. I just feel like a stand in for them both when I'm with her.

And I want to keep learning to drive, because for once I was good at something, but I'm so embarrassed by that shared dream with Rajani that I haven't been able to look her in the eye since. Leave it to me to mess up one of the only things that I had left that was making this place ok.

*The sound of the kitchens - movement and background chatter. Sirius' voice is muffled, as if he's got a mouthful of food. Which he has.*

Hellooooooo?

I helped DK cheat on his SATs. I lost my dad's puzzle ring when D'Argo and I were floating in space. I wasn't there when my mom died. I have wormhole equations locked in my head and I have so many people after them and I've been tortured for them and I don't even want them. I've robbed a shadow depository. I've been a kid's close encounter with Alien Kind. People think I am this huge badass warrior dude. hah. I'm a scientist, just trying to keep up with my dad. My favorite pulse pistol is Winona.

I miss Aeryn like you would not believe, but she has my twin so she won't even think about me. frell. I haven't seen her for monens... months, sorry, but she left with other me, and I got left behind. I bet they're frelling aalllllllll over Talyn. I would, if it were me with her. I hope they drive Crais insane. Insaner.

I miss Pip and Blue and Jool and D'Argo and Pilot and Moya, oh god you have no idea how much I miss her, and I miss my module. Frell, I even miss Buckwheat. And Stark, a bit. I do not miss food cubes or all the "What's a hooman, are you deficient?" dren. Or Scorpy or Crais. Everyone hates me back on Moya because I'm driving them insane with the stupid frelling wormholes. I wrote all over my walls once, trying to work out a variable.

I understand all languages. That one's actually useful. Not useful? My sliding scale of sanity. Also Harvey is a factor and he is not helping and he likes River. I think he wants to try and take over sometimes. Ugh.

blah crappy word vomit

It's strange, back home I couldn't choose between Nate or Dan, but I come here and almost right away I started falling for Sirius. He's so different from all the other guys I've gone out with. He's more like me and I think that's what both Nate and Dan were lacking. Don't get me wrong, I loved them both, but they couldn't keep up with me. Sirius though, sometimes I don't think I can keep up with him, but somehow I always manage to. Oh my god, why am I saying all this? I sound obsessed or something and I know he's not likely to commit any time soon and I know I'm not the only one, but he's been the only one for me since I arrived. I was so freaked out when I woke up here, but somehow once we started talking about the ghosts and I offered to educate him on Beetlejuice and Slimer and he offered to give me a tour of the castle....and the wine bottle; I have that wine bottle in my room...I really wish I could stop typing. Sirius, I'm so sorry. I hope this doesn't scare you away, because I really like you.

And Regulus, I'm so sorry about the other day. I really am. If I had realized...maybe I am just a stupid blond. You wouldn't be the first person to say that to me and I know sometimes I can be extremely naive, which makes me an easy target sometimes, especially for Gossip Girl, but I honestly had no idea the filter wasn't going to work and you're right even if I didn't mean it to come out sexual I should have just tried to text Sirius privately even though that still wouldn't have worked, but atleast it wouldn't have been on little Regulus' post.

I hadn't realized how much I missed Eric until I met Kurt. I don't know what it is about Kurt, but he reminds me of Eric and if anyone else from home was going to be brought here I'd want it to be him. Of course I miss Blair, but Eric is my brother and I just want to know that he's safe.

I'm gonna go shove this thing into the couch cushions now and go to bed.

My name is Thor. I am the son of Odin, brother of Loki, betrothed to Sif. My father is a King God and I am set to inherit the throne of Asgard, where I come from. I hold the power of the heavens in Mjolnir. I am as quick as the lighting I control, by my hand I have slayed many foes of Asgard, but it is also by my hand that the truce with the Frost Giants was broken. By my hand, with my pride.

These are not truths learned by searching my own memory fully. These are truths read from a graphic novel detailing my origins, my life, my adventures with the Avengers. These are not truths I know, these are truths extracted from my subconscious by Ariadne who is kind enough to show patience where I lack much.

I want nothing more than to feel certain that these are my memories and they are real but even if they are my subconscious, even if the novel is incredibly accurate to my tale up until arriving here I can not help but feel these truths are not real. Yet they must be for I would not exclaim them so boldly to all if they were not.

I find myself unable to find a true peace here though it comes quick for Donald Blake. He finds his peace in others and in his work, but what work is there for me? What evil is there for me to defeat? Is this a part of my father's punishment? To live a life without battle?

There is but a few who bring me to thinking of others and not myself and as of late is has been Ariadne. She is in my dreams often, those she controls and those she does not. At times, in the ones not controlled, it is her sitting on my bed and speaking of betrothal, not Sif. She reminds me much of Jane Foster, who was also very good to me, but Donald loved Jane.

Donald does not feel for Ariadne how I do, his heart is with another. I wish I had my own body. Donald is like a brother to me but I can not see how I can function as my own person if I am constantly sharing my place in this universe with another. I am certain Donald feels the same way.