Network comm for The Land of Make Believe

Is there literally nowhere on the internet I can go without seeing my past or someone making fun of me? When is that girls' night, again...?

Lucifer, I know you created this, you shit Why do you have to wait legit half an hour before you can get more lives in Candy Crush? That's the crappiest thing! :( Also, when did this game come out? Anybody know? ...and while I'm at it, does anybody still play Songpop or is that like...so yesterday?

What in the hell Hello? Someone mind explaining just what exactly is going on around here?