Involuntary RPG Journal Entries

I do not know all of you, or at least all of you well, but I will miss IVI. I am very glad to go home, but for a long time I did not have friends, because of my volness. And now I do and we have to leave each other, some of us forever.

It turns out I am very famous now, because of what the Czech Republic did, leaving the IVF. There was a #FreePlanty campaign on Twitter. I have ten thousand followers now even though I haven't updated in a month.

Apparently, in Prague there are already posters and banners that say, "Vítejte doma, Petr" (Welcome home, Petr) and "Vítáme všechny voli" (We welcome all vols). I think things will be better for me, there. If you ever are traveling, in Europe, you should come to Prague and look me up. Tanja will be with me. Even if we do not know each other. My mother and father will help you if you need it. Email me, at petrlaska@gmail.com.

Sbohem, IVI.

For those of you who do not read the news, you can say good-bye to any hopes you had of your country getting you out of here. The Czech Republic has left the IVF and surprise! I am still here.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have photosynthesizing to do.

[ 1995/1996 ]

In the interest of entertaining those of you who are easily bored, and also expanding upon a discussion which Karim and I had:

Who is the best-looking guy at IVI?

The way that many people discuss 'evolved humans' is starting to annoy me. Allow me to discuss a few things I am are that lots of people already know but some people apparently do not:

1. Evolution and natural selection are processes which take thousands of years. Vols did not pop up one day having skipped thousands of years of biology. Very likely, each of us has a series of mutations that gives us out powers. These mutations may or may not survive into future generations, either because any of us does not have offspring, or because of epigenetics or what have you, they are not inherited or displayed. To evolve, we have to a) survive and b) have offspring who survive.
2. By basically every definition of species, including morphological (do they look alike?) and biological (can they have viable offspring) vols are human beings.
3. 'Survival of the fittest' is an pop science manner of describing natural selection. Nature selects traits which are best suited to a particular environment. A lion and a polar bear are species which evolved to meet very different landscapes. If you put a lion in the Arctic and a polar bear in the savannah both would die. Neither is better or worse than the other, they are just different.
4. Nature and evolution are cold and cruel and uncaring, if beautiful. Just because it happens in nature doesn't mean it should be emulated.
5. Social Darwinism was gross in the 1800s and it's gross now.

If I'm mistaken about any of this, apologies and correct me from a biological standpoint. This post took me a while because I know most of these words in Czech and maybe I misunderstood I would recommend reading The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins, because it was one of the more interesting things I studied while homeschooled.

Also, Karim, shut up.

[ 1995/96 ]

[...] Does anyone have any evidence as to whether or not I actually motorboated Kody while we were girls?

I am not so glad to have my powers back but I think the ones I had were annoying in a different way.

I did get to blow shit up though, so that was cool.

Chag Purim Sameach, IVI. Boy Harlow, I HOPE you're making hamantashen.

[ Skull and Vols ]

Boy Juli -- not recommended. Boys at this school suck!

[ 1995 Girls Who Are Normally Girls ]

All right, bitches, now that I'm finally free, I need some cute clothes to wear. I CANNOT go around in Petr's clothes, I would rather be dead.

So one of you with taste is going to help me. Volunteers?

Bisous!
Zuzana

[ Skull and Vols ]

You all had better make my day AMAZING. None of you are near hot enough to sleep with, but you can at least be entertaining, k?

No bisous,
Zuzana

[...] Does anyone have season two of Pretty Little Liars on DVD?

WELCOME TO IVI

Are you a vol who has recently been transported to IVI? Are you wondering what the fuck is going on in this place? Don't worry, most of us who have been here since the beginning are wondering that too.

This is a less than comprehensive guide to all you need to know about IVI. My name is Petr Láska and I will be your guide, mostly because I'm bored and the internet doesn't turn on for like three hours.

( not an IC cut )

[ Skull and Vols ]

I'm taking Enely to the dance tomorrow. Am I supposed to like, get her flowers or something?

[ Teresa ]

Hi Teresa.

You looked pretty lousy today. Are you being overtaxed? You should've just asked IVI to ship in roses or something. Will you feel better tomorrow?

Hello, persons of IVI.

I would like to apologize for my obnoxious drunkness drunkenness last night. Not really for how I was drunk, but for how I was obnoxious. In less than two months I can provide you this kind of entertainment on a weekly basis.

Also, Seth is a real Jew.

That is all.

[ Enely ]

Hi. Sorry.

[ Tanja ]

I saw your message. I'm all right, but thanks. [...] <3

[ Sadie ]

So I know we are not such close friends but even though it's weird that you have a kid I hope that people are not mean to you. 1995 forever I guess.

But really, Seth?

Did yu ever wonder why vols are all really fuked up people? Like all of us are supre fucked up did any of you eveer think about this?

Why aer we all here????? Jaký je smysl života???? God nás činí vols?

[ Mímir ]

I know training is less than fun but usually you don't skip.

[ "Men" of 1995 AKA SKULL AND VOLS CAIRO ]

Thoughts on the new girl? No cold boring Soviet jokes need apply.

I have the worst roommate in the world. FIRST he used MY phone for flirting with Vampire Ted. Now, he eats my challah. But mostly, Ted, really, Karim?

[Filtered to Kristijian]

Hopin I can ask a favor.

Lost a bet to Leigh and need to dress like stupid Peyton Manning. Chance you can help?

[Filtered to Petr]

You taking art, right?

Need some help.

[Filtered to Keanu, Petr, Mira, Kai]

Moshe asked me to go underwater without air. Not sure what to think bout it.


[Filtered to Keanu and Petr]

Jesper's an asshole.


[Filtered to Hailey]

Need to ask a favor.

Thanks to everyone who cared for plant me I guess. You overwatered me and I really had to pee. That's never happened be

I feel like I should give general instructions or something but i didn't think caring for a plant was that ha