Freedomtown IC

I am proud to announce that I am going to be a grandma, for those who have not seen my daughter Grace's post a few weeks back.

[Grace, Brandon, Nick]
I would like to have a family dinner sometime soon for us all and your significant others. Do you think you can all be available next weekend? I will let Sam know, of course. Love you, kids.

You know, people are right. Pregnancy does make a person glow. I mean, I'm not all for the bigger clothes because I am practically wearing circus tents about now. But, I am enjoying all the aspects of being pregnant. I am so glad I am able to give two people a gift of love. Only about 12 weeks or so left to go.

I've realized why I feel... sadder than usual these past few days.

It was a year ago that I was allowing myself to feel grateful for once. Because for the first time in my life, I had found a family.

I had built that with Queen Tea Marvelli (who had become not only my boss, but like a sister to me), Denny Duquette (the man I would pick if I could choose my father), Katie Fitch (my soulmate and one true love), Freddie Mclair (the closest thing I've ever had to a brother), and Dr. Isabel Stevens (my confidante, and like a mother to me).

And now... only a year later, only Mr. Duquette remains.

In one year, I lost the rest of my family. The family I made myself.

I don't often allow myself to be emotional anymore, but if any of you can see this out there, wherever you are? I love you. I miss you. Please come back to me.

Happy New Year, everyone. Let's... do our best to make this one better than the horror this past one was.

Emily Fitch
Highness. Is there anything you would like to plan for this weekend? As always, I am here for your protection 24/7.

Filtered away from Bea & Emily
I am not permitted to work tomorrow. I suspect they will also not want me at the palace, hoping I will "socialize" instead. They mean well, but they don't understand. I am a weapon. I tried being a person. Didn't work out for me.

Does anyone know someplace I can just... hide away for a day or two? I'll be quiet, keep to myself, and just hole up alone in a single room. Just until I can go back to work?

I never thought I'd say this... especially this close to the holidays... but I'm actually happy.

No one thing in particular changed things for me. And I still miss Arizona badly. There are some nights where I miss her so badly I cry myself to sleep. Not having Zola or my mom to go to makes it worse.

But in general? I'm happy. I'm not drinking myself into emotional submission anymore, I'm not moping and sulking. I'm enjoying my job, I'm having a blast in the studio, I'm getting closer than ever to Kate (which, btw, I need to talk to you asap, kiddo), and I've got possibly the beginning of something special with Tifa happening.

You never forget or get over your OTL. I know that. But dammit... I'm not gonna let the thing I don't have stop me from enjoying what I do have. Not anymore.

FILTERED TO MATTY

Hi, sweetie. Everything going okay with you?

FILTERED TO DENNY

Family vacation to the beach this weekend? What do you think?

FILTERED TO MOM

I love you. Just in case I don't say it enough.

Wow….okay. How to plan a vacation to Disneyland for 3 days when there is just so much going on there….We don't want Stacey to miss school. But, we do need a vacation, even if it's for the weekend. Any suggestions would be great.