It's been a while, journal...
Today's Mother's Day, and seeing everyone wishing everyone else a happy one of those, it got me thinking... I never got to be a mom back where I came from. I was never ready to be one. I was never in the right headspace to truly be a parent.
To be blunt, I'm still not ready right now either
before you get any ideas, Jenny! :P
. My current situation isn't enough to support that, but I feel like it's a far more attainable goal here eventually... and I want that with Jenny. Because Jenny's my everything. I don't know if I'd be so ready to admit that here without her.
In fact, I think I'd still be the scared girl I was when I was sucked into this place without Jenny. But I don't have to play hypotheticals about that. Because she's here. And she'd make an amazing mother. I know she would.
Can't you tell I'm in love? XP
Speaking of Mother's Day, my and Annie's mom Jodie wasn't perfect. She got around in her earlier years. She and my biological Dad were both druggies before they had me and Annie, which makes me feel bad for Michael that he didn't get to see what true parents looked like until it was too late. But by the time me and Annie were into elementary school, she had become a true parent to us.
I love and miss that woman every day she crosses my mind. She looked exactly like Princess Leia, and I bet Jenny would have loved her just for that. And Jodie would have loved Jenny, too. Like how she loved my first girlfriend Stacy.
I hope when the time comes that me and Jenny get to be parents that we're like Jodie without the previous baggage.
I love and miss you, Jodie Elena Calico-Montes.