OFFICIAL ROYAL DECREE
Alright, listen up, motherfuckers.
This is Princess Beatrice, here on official goddamn business.
Our resident future-seeing vampire has let me know that tomorrow, a big-ass fucking monster
is going to show up in Monstropolis.
I'm talking like some Godzilla-level bullshit here, folks.
So here's what needs to happen.
ALL CITIZENS OF MONSTROPOLIS - We're beginning an immediate emergency evacuation. If you got friends/family in other places, go stay with them till this passes. If you don't? Fuck, go live under a bridge like a goddamn homeless person or something. I don't fuckin' care. Just DON'T BE HERE.
This is not optional. Everyone here who is a citizen (i.e. not
law enforcement, royal staff, and the like) is being ordered to leave the city now
. Don't worry about packing shit, don't worry about whether or not you have that pretty dress you like, or your fuckin' PS4, or anything. Just get out now
. This thing could arrive anytime from midnight tonight on. So I need you all gone before then.
CITIZENS OF OTHER LOCATIONS - I need you to have any kind of armies, protection, whatever-the-fuck that you have at the ready. If we can't contain this bitch, and it gets loose, we're looking at possible cataclysmic damage and death-tolls. I'm talking more horror and brutality than an Adam Sandler Movie Marathon. So seriously - get your shit together ASAP.