Being here has been very good for me.
For the first sixteen years of my life, my mother almost always seemed to be under the influence of something, making me have to be the parent for many years. This got worse when she got married and had my little brother.
When she got sober, she wanted to just magically be okay, just because she was finally being a productive member of society and actually trying
to be my mother. I just couldn't, though. She didn't understand why. This only made things worse.
So because I'm away from her, and not under all of that stress, I've decided that I'm going to keep my baby. In about three months, I'll be giving birth to a little girl, and another month after that, I'll be turning eighteen about a month after that. As ready as I am for this, I'm terrified. I don't want to fall into the same behaviors that my mother did with me and my grandmother had with her.