Freedomtown IC

So, apparently today's a holiday in this world dedicated to mothers. I wish all words had something like that, to be honest.

It's no secret that mothers have played a big part in my life. My own mother, Shmi, was the greatest woman I've ever known. She loved me unconditionally, and did her best to always give me the best life possible, even when we were slaves on Tattooine. Not being able to save her life still haunts me to this day.

And of course, there's Padme. My everything, and the mother of my children. No disrespect meant to being a Jedi, but being loved by Padme is the most important thing in my life, and the thing I take the most pride in.

So, Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there who have children and do your best for them every day.

( Wonder Woman 1984 Spoiler )

I have to say, my time in the Welcome Center has been quite enlightening. I hear that I missed out on a battle against what I knew as the "separatists", but I'm sure there will be others.

But down to business, I am Senator Padme Amidala. Which I have been told is a name that many around here already know. I was about to meet with my husband to talk to him and I hear that he is here. I just need to be pointed in his direction.

...this place? Again?

Perhaps I'm cursed to never gain my vengeance...

While I'll probably never fully forgive myself for the things I've done... it's good to see that The Force seems to have done so. I have peace. I'm helping to rebuild the Jedi Order in a new universe. And I have Rey at my side, as it was meant to be.

This time, I truly am going to finish what my grandfather started: I'm going to help restore The Force to it's proper balance.

This place may be confusing and not a place I understand yet, but I will tell you all one thing that I know:

I am glad that I have found my friends that I thought I lost, and I am glad that I have found My Ben. I finally feel like I am whole again and not an empty shell. Who knew that love could feel like this?

The Order suffered many losses as of late. In some ways... I feel like a failure, even though I know deep down there was no way I could have prevented any of this.

I feel alone, even surrounded by others like me. I know they all forgave me. Rey. My parents. Even Finn and Poe, eventually. I just can't figure out how to forgive myself.

I do try not to be a pessimistic person. But considering that I've been in this place for a while now, failed to capture the interest of the one person I had a romantic interest in, and now watched as my oldest friend was taken from me... I feel I'm entitled to a few days of sulking, at least.