I've been here for eight months and four days. When I arrived, I came from a place that I had allowed to become dull and grey. I was settling for what was there because it was easier. Along the way, I had lost drive and ambition. I accepted what was given to me rather than fighting for what I wanted.
I became a bad Slytherin, where ambition is key. I took the easy way because I convinced myself that the path I was on was the right one despite how unhappy I was. My name wasn't on the potions I was making, and I had a hundred different ways to make them better but couldn't because it wasn't on brand. I was prepared to marry someone that I didn't love because it was convenient. I had put myself firmly in a rut, then I showed up here the night before my wedding.
For months, I worried about whether I went through with it, and every time someone left, I thought that I might be next, that I might be pulled out of this world that sometimes sucks and is often hard, but in which I have found so many bright colours. I didn't want to go back and face my mistakes.
A cousin from around my entry date was here briefly, and she told me that I called off the wedding in a spectacularly dramatic fashion that was anticlimactic because of his reaction. I like to think I found my own potions path as well, but she didn't know if I'd officially quit my apprenticeship that'd already lasted five years.
So, eight months and four days and countless pints of ice cream later, I'm marking this birthday with new friends, a world that is all bright colours, and a career path that I am proud of. I know I'm only 23, and I don't have to have things figured out, but try telling that to any of my cousins. We have war hero parents, aunts, and uncles to live up to.
![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}