Some Reality Web

[VARRIC]
Would you like to go on a date?

I was just going to ask you to join me in my bedroom, but these 21st century mating rituals are quite thorough.

Entity, if we're taking requests, I'm fairly certain very few would object to a forest.

[FILTERED AWAY FROM VARRIC TETHRAS]

How do you ask someone on a date? And I do mean in very very [...] well-mannered way that does not involve throwing gifts at their heads until they get the hint.

Please don't attempt to break into my shop after closing hours. And if you do, please don't come to me and complain, as this one individual did this afternoon.

Surely people must know better than to break into a mage's shop.

[ENTITY]

I'm trying to swallow my pride Maker, no

I believe that a little red speedster bird rebuilt my favorite bar. Anyone fancy a drink?

Well this is neither Thedas or the Fade and excuse me if I'm a little wary about trusting "the entity" but based on previous experience it would be highly idiotic of me to go on blind faith alone.

I was never well known for my patience either.

Well, that was an interesting few days. Do things like that happen often here?

[JOAN WATSON]
I seem to recall you've mentioned that you were a surgeon?

Would you be willing to give us a hand?

Morg, Tony, I need someone to look at my suit. The left gun is jammed and its really slowing me down out here.

[Adult friends]
It kind of bugs the hell out of me that people are out begging for potions and things for minor injuries like we don't have fifty other people who can fight while they rest and a steadily decreasing stock of supplies for actual emergencies. There's going to be another big showdown with multiple injuries and I'll be trying to hold people together with glue and staples.

Fuck it. Ignore me. I don't even know what day it is.

Blessed are they who stand before
The corrupt and the wicked and do not falter.
Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just.
-Benedictions 4:10

[VARRIC]
Remind me that I like a least one witch.

IF ANYONE THINKS THEY'RE GOING TO FACE VOLDEMORT AND HIS ILK, YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE THREE CURSES HE IS LIKELY TO USE!!

The Killing Curse kills instantly and is incredibly difficult to defend against. IF YOU ARE NOT IMMORTAL AND INDESTRUCTIBLE, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO INTERCEPT.

The Cruciatus Curse basically attacks every nerve in your body. The books and those who have endured it say it's the worst pain you have ever felt in your life. It can have lasting effects on your nervous system.

The Imperius Curse allows the user to take over the mind and actions of their target. Set up questions and answers for you and your loved ones that only the two of you can answer. You never know who's imperiused.

Fuck it. Anyone for drinks?

The portals were a moment of weakness futile. They will not happen again. I am told there is no escape from this hell world, and I will rectify any damage I may have caused.

I've decided to rot my brain, and I could use some netflix recommendations.

[VARRIC TETHRAS]
How are you doing?

[ANNA ZHU]
I read that you're experienced in herbal remedies.

I happen to be in the process of opening a herbal store, which is currently lacking in herbs from [...] Earth, I believe? I could use a hand.

...

What the fuck.

Hawke is gone...and well shit. Care for some company? I need to get out of this fucking apartment.

{filtered to teens (16 and up) and adults}

After the resounding success of my little experiment on Sam Wilson I can say with certainty that it works on humans of other worlds I feel like it is high time to admit that I have indeed, been sitting on a stash of herbs that could potentially be used as [...] hallucinogenics.

But while I won't be parting with my stash of blood lotus anytime soon, I do have some dried leaves from elfroot and royal elfroot plants that I'd be willing to share. In other words, I have 'weed', 'cannabis', 'pot' and I am happy to share.

You'll have to roll the cigarettes yourselves; I smoke via pipe. If you feel squeamish about smoking it, I can brew you a tea.

And if you do accept, yes - you may head into battle and study under the influence of elfroot, but I would abstain from [...] driving. Operating heavy machinery. Sponge Bob. Yes, Sponge Bob is no good.

Be responsible, or I will make you regret it.

I know I'm posting three days in a row and normally I do these at the start of the month, but here's your monthly reminder that the medical clinic is on the ground floor. If there's anything potentially unusual about your biology you think we should know feel free to stop by and fill us in, we practice full patient confidentiality.

We're also... somewhat low on doctors at the moment. Including healers. So if you have any kind of medical experience or potions making you've got a good shot at a job. On that note we do have a small stock of hangover potions but they're limited in supply so please don't rely on them come January 1st. Drink plenty of water and don't go overboard on an empty stomach.

I'm not sure who's left in charge of the garden, either.

[Bucky Barnes]
I don't know if it'll be awkward or too many people for you or if you have other plans already but the kid's pressuring me to go to the Stark New Years thing, if you wanted to turn up there.

It seems that the Entity's been kind to most, if not all of us.

I've some of the Grey Warden tomes from Weisshaupt, and Cailain, by which I mean the namesake of the former King of Ferelden, who is a Mabari warhound, at any rate. It's hard to mistake them for each other, for one was a King, and the other a dog. Both remain rather equal in temperament, however.

So now I have two dogs - Barkspawn and Cailain, and it is my very own slice of paradise on Earth. I'll have to get him his own doggie bed for in the shop.

( Cut for image of Cailan )

I would like to learn how to make floorboards look old.

[DRAGON AGE]
Are you attending this feast?

[SAM]
I may be in need some clarification regarding Thanksgiving.