Some Reality Web

I have a little bit of a teensy question because I've kind of lost track. How many more holidays should I expect until July fourth? I feel like an EMT should know these things.

But for anyone new here, I'm James Rogers. Yes, Rogers as in That Guy Most Of You Know. What's up?

Ow.

( Cut for instagram video )

[FILTERED TO BILLY]

I know you're probably getting a lot of messages. Probably? I mean totally, and I know you're probably Not Having A Good Time Right Now. But [...]

Uh. Iron Lad? Can I ask? When you feel up to it, of course.

I don't feel like Fire school sounds really ominous, you know?

[FRANCIS]
You wanna parkour? Less chance of lethal impalement and being crushed to death around here.

So, Goodland.

How do I get my own apartment?

[ NAT ]

We might wanna see about a bigger apartment...

[ COOPER | LILA | NATE ]

I take it you've met the mop of blond that's been in the pillow fort? Resembles grumpy cat? Grunts in response to questions? Makes like a turtle half the time?

If you have serious opposition to Francis possibly being a semi-permanent resident, now's the time to voice it.

[ JAMES ]

Does Francis know he's fucking adorable in a grumpy and argumentative way?

Hawkeye, let's find this asshole King so shit can go back to normal.

Fine. I got an ear-worm.

Cash in your bets.

[TEXT TO CLINT]
- I know this is bad timing for you.
- But congratulations, you're a dad again.
- I'm bringing in a half-feral Hawkeye to my blanket fort.
- His name's Francis.
- And he might empty the hot water heater.
- Is that okay?
- The kid's floor fine and all, but

so on the one hand having something soft to break my fall was pretty handy since my arrow disappeared.

on the other hand it looks like i landed on some sort of giant deformed bird pillow? is it food? it looks like someone's taken a bite out of it. did i die? is this hell? it looks like hell.

what the fuck?

Another maze? Are you

I'm going back to bed. Please don't make me go out there.

You know these feelings? I don't know what to do with them. Like, we all just got fucked over by the Entity twice in a row but are we now pretending it didn't happen, or am I just behind again, or does this just prove my 'distrustful nature'?

Nothing feels real today and it's pissing me off.

[TONY]
So. May. Here.

How are you?

[LAURA]
Hi.

Hello? Where's my kid? Why am I in Manhattan? What the fuck happened? Did we blip again? We blipped again, didn't we. My phone's date looks completely fucked. Who's got answers, because nobody out in the street with me seems even remotely surprised.

[TORUNN]
I forgot.

I have a recording of Tony's bedtime story.

I know, I know. I'm an asshole. But how's a day of Nobody wants to hear the truth

Seriously, you all give me a headache sometimes. Sweeter than ice cream.

I also took one of these fuzz assho things because I was curious and uh, no. I have a makeup exam in two hours (you try taking an exam when you're gripped by mania) and another tomorrow and nope.

Adopters must have none or one.

Valentines Day officially sucks. I wish Teddy was here.

( Cut for (slightly blurry no it's not your eyes) image )

OH GOD. I literally spent thirty minutes just trying to get big so an ostrich wouldn't eat me! That journey would not have been fun!

Hi. I'm Scott, I have no idea what is going on here! Is this another timeline? Did we screw something up!?

Adults and their shit, what the fuck. I know I got messages, but I'm a little busy with work and training. Sitting at a desk and listening to a teacher is not my speed, and I fell asleep as soon as I got back and now I'm working on this car of some idiot who didn't know he had to pour oil in there to keep it running smoothly.

Does anyon Nope, I still feel like Jesus fucking shit.

Even the post apocalypse has its chill moments. I wonder how the corn we planted is doing.

[FILTER: Iron Fam + Avengers]

I'm officially retiring. No, I mean it this time. And I need you to keep me to it. I need to put my kids and my wife first. Unless one of them is in danger, it can't be me. I have to focus on this place, seeing what makes it tick, so maybe just maybe I can stick around and watch Cinnabun grow up. So, basically, sedate me if you have to.

[FILTER: Pepper + the kids]

I'm sorry. You come first. I won't make the mistakes I did at home. I won't lose you.

I have a really bad headache. So please stop.

God, life. Feelings. I liked it a lot better when all I had to do was kill drones and human assholes and not school or breaking up with girlfriends and dealing with guardians who don't know when to just let things lie.

I'm going out to kill something.