InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "THERE...ARE...FOUR...LIGHTS!"

James Rogers (thenextavenger) wrote in somerealityweb,
@ 2020-01-21 23:52:00

Entry tags:

active: bruce banner, active: james rogers, active: steve rogers, active: torunn thorsdottir

I have a really bad headache. So please stop.

God, life. Feelings. I liked it a lot better when all I had to do was kill drones and human assholes and not school or breaking up with girlfriends and dealing with guardians who don't know when to just let things lie.

I'm going out to kill something.

(Post a new comment)

	girlofthunder 2020-01-21 11:07 pm UTC (link)
	Get 'em good. Then tell me you are safe. (Reply to this)

	Tony \| James notyourplayboy 2020-01-21 11:10 pm UTC (link)
	That's a lot, kid. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Tony \| James thenextavenger 2020-01-21 11:11 pm UTC (link)
	You think? Now I imagine how I feel. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Tony \| James notyourplayboy 2020-01-21 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	Like you are about to explode and you just want it to land all over something that doesn't make you feel worse? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony \| James thenextavenger 2020-01-21 11:15 pm UTC (link)
	key smash (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Tony \| James thenextavenger 2020-01-21 11:15 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Tony \| James notyourplayboy 2020-01-21 11:20 pm UTC (link)
	Why I took up boxing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Tony \| James thenextavenger 2020-01-21 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	Which is great if you're a normal ass person who doesn't ruin the bag in the first punch. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Tony | James -

notyourplayboy, 2020-01-21 11:23 pm UTC

Tony | James -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-21 11:24 pm UTC

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notyourplayboy, 2020-01-21 11:25 pm UTC

Tony | James -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-21 11:26 pm UTC

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notyourplayboy, 2020-01-21 11:27 pm UTC

Tony | James -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-21 11:29 pm UTC

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notyourplayboy, 2020-01-21 11:29 pm UTC

Tony | James -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-21 11:30 pm UTC

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notyourplayboy, 2020-01-21 11:41 pm UTC

Tony | James -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-21 11:42 pm UTC

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notyourplayboy, 2020-01-21 11:43 pm UTC

Tony | James -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-21 11:47 pm UTC

Re: Tony | James -

notyourplayboy, 2020-01-22 09:24 am UTC

Tony | James -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 09:28 am UTC

	[ clint \| james ] cauterising 2020-01-21 11:39 pm UTC (link)
	Stay smart, call if you need a hand or pick up. I've to tell you the fort will keep. I assume from Nate's manic energy you two talked? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	[ clint \| james ] thenextavenger 2020-01-21 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah. I broke up with Laura. Steve got hurt. We beat Ultron. Sam's trying to explain why he didn't come save my ass in Central Park. It's a bit much right now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ clint \| james ] cauterising 2020-01-21 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	That makes sense. Take your time, work it out. You know me or Nat can swing out if you need anything. You know Steve'll pull through, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ clint \| james ] thenextavenger 2020-01-21 11:46 pm UTC (link)
	He died on me once before. And I have cracked shield with his name on it, his brand, and a shitload of abandonment issues. Fuck. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[ clint \| james ] cauterising 2020-01-21 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	And it sucks hardcore, no lying there. And it's okay to have issues around that. We all have them. No one says you gotta get over it quickly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[ clint | james ] -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 12:05 am UTC

[ clint | james ] -

cauterising, 2020-01-22 12:07 am UTC

[ clint | james ] -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 12:08 am UTC

[ clint | james ] -

cauterising, 2020-01-22 12:10 am UTC

[ clint | james ] -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 12:19 am UTC

[ clint | james ] -

cauterising, 2020-01-22 12:25 am UTC

	[Nat/James] comespywithme 2020-01-22 01:53 am UTC (link)
	What happened? And just make sure you aren't the one who gets killed because I don't want that to happen. You know how to call us if you need us. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	[Nat/James] thenextavenger 2020-01-22 09:32 am UTC (link)
	[...] I broke up with Laura. Clint already parented me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Nat/James] comespywithme 2020-01-22 06:53 pm UTC (link)
	That's rough. Sorry to hear that. Consider it co-parenting. Or we just like to take turns. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	James _onyourleft_ 2020-01-22 07:22 am UTC (link)
	I'm sorry. That you're feeling that way. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Steve thenextavenger 2020-01-22 09:35 am UTC (link)
	It happens. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	James _onyourleft_ 2020-01-22 09:40 am UTC (link)
	It does. That doesn't make it any fun. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Steve thenextavenger 2020-01-22 09:53 am UTC (link)
	It isn't. But I'm not gonna lose control. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	James _onyourleft_ 2020-01-22 09:57 am UTC (link)
	I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Steve -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 10:00 am UTC

James -

_onyourleft_, 2020-01-22 10:02 am UTC

Steve -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 10:05 am UTC

James -

_onyourleft_, 2020-01-22 10:06 am UTC

Steve -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 10:07 am UTC

James -

_onyourleft_, 2020-01-22 10:10 am UTC

Steve -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 10:10 am UTC

James -

_onyourleft_, 2020-01-22 10:13 am UTC

Steve -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 10:17 am UTC

James -

_onyourleft_, 2020-01-22 10:20 am UTC

Steve -

thenextavenger, 2020-01-22 10:48 am UTC

James -

_onyourleft_, 2020-01-22 10:54 am UTC

	James sevenphds 2020-01-22 01:45 pm UTC (link)
	That's a lot of emotions in one post. Need to talk about it? Neutral third party, maybe? (Reply to this) (Thread)

Bruce

thenextavenger
2020-01-22 02:33 pm UTC (link)

I don't know.

It's like I'm hurting two of the people I care about most and it's like a train wreck and I don't know how to stop it.

Sam is being weird. I know, I get it, we're all being weird with all of this going on, but I kinda don't like being talked down to like I'm supposed to know better or whatever and my feelings are like, invalid and shit compared to anyone else's. But he didn't go out there when I was Grodd-controlled and I don't know why that hurts.

And I thought love was love. Like, you love your siblings one way, you love your parents one way and then there's the other kind and that's why I thought Laura and me were gonna be and then I had to go feel butterflies for someone else and I kinda realized that wasn't that and then I tried to tell her gently so we're not dragging each other along into something that may or may not be really be what other people have.

And Ultron and Steve.

I don't know. I'm just an asshole.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

James

sevenphds
2020-01-22 08:42 pm UTC (link)

You're not an asshole, you're a kid. A teenager, and emotions plus hormones would tear even the strongest one of you apart. Throw in the whole superhero-saving-the-world deal? No one would blame you for being a wreck right now.

Sam has never been a parent before this. It's not an easy role to step into, especially considering the world he came here from. But it hurts because you do look up to him. You respect him and he's been an important part of your life. That's going to hurt, whether he meant it to or not.

And love... Damn, kid, I'm probably the worst person to give advice on that one. But I can tell you that it's the most complicated thing in the world. And that it absolutely is possible to love two people at the same time but in very different ways. In the end, you have to do what makes you happy. Even if it hurts someone else. You can only be kind and considerate while doing so. Laura will understand in time, but hey, remember the whole teenagers thing? That includes her, too.

As for Ultron, well. You kicked ass, ok? You did the best you could and I, for one, am really proud. Facing one of your worst fears isn't easy.

And I'm guessing another of your worst fears is losing Steve again?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Bruce

thenextavenger
2020-01-22 09:31 pm UTC (link)

Hormones, right. Mood swings, and that whole sex drive thing.

Yes. That's [...] Yes.

I didn't want to hurt her. But I'm gonna feel like an asshole for as long as I need to.

But you don't think Ultron can come back from space, right? Hypothetically speaking?

I don't remember everything. All I know is that my dad was there one day, and gone the next, and Tony was [...] trying.

(Reply to this) (Parent)