Some Reality Web

Has anyone seen an AI cat wandering about? If you find her? Her name is Dingy. Tell her to get her shiny ass back home. She knows the way.

[ Pepper ]

If I offer an endless amount of Morgan and Ethan time that you can cash in whenever you need it...would it soften the blow of something big-ish I'm about to do?

[ Peter & MJ ]

You guys are about to have more space in the apartment.

[ Emma Swan ]

I did a thing.

[ Marty ]

I'm suppose to invite you to dinner.

[ MORGAN ]

I need you to come and punch me in the face really fucking hard, okay? Please?

[ TEENS & FRIENDS* ]

Is it okay if I randomly show up places you might be to hang out? When it's not okay you can totally kick me out, but I have a feeling I'll spiral I'm going to need distractions from my head for a bit.

[i started naming people, it got out of hand you wanna be his friend you are his friend]

Some of you will be happy to learn that my mom and Aunt Rebekah have gone home, except Mom is dead so does that left Goodland.

[ Pepper + Tony ]

I'm taking a personal day if that's okay. I'll see you tomorrow.

You know, I really didn't miss the monster fighting. I was actually kind of into this whole semi-normal life thing and I'd like it if we could just not do it again.

Did everyone make it out okay? That was really intense.

LIZZIE SALTZMAN + HOPE MIKAELSON

So, um, I might have asked Cupid for the library. From home. I really only meant for him to give us all the books, but then I got a note with an address, so I guess... do you guys want any to go check it out with me?

If anyone has a pressing repair that needs done quickly... I am prepared to help.

Lizzie, I'll need a few pointers on how you office needs to look, whenever you're ready.

[ august ]

Do you want to me arrange magical food deliveries to my cave for you both? Selenite might come and check on you.

[ morgan ]

I already know you're okay yourself, but did everyone else stay okay too?

So much for a vacation, I guess? Is there really no stop to these things?

[Kate]

Raincheck on the dinner thing. Or the coffee thing. Or both, I guess, I feel like I'm being kidnapped somehow?

So.... sorry?

[ Tony | Morgan | Oliver ]
I am very very sorry for worrying you. But there was a dog that needed my help.

[ Lila ]
Since I'm grounded forever, will you stop being mad at me?

[ Dad & Nat ]
I didn't wanna bring this up last night, cause... all the stuff.

But I can keep the dog, right?

[ Kara ]
Thank you for not yelling at me when you figured out I was totally 100% fine.

Also, you'd totally save dogs in a crisis, right?

» Hey, kid....
» Where are you?
» Tell me you're locked up somewhere?

Is it weird that this somehow still isn't the worst thing that's happened this week?

My name is Matt Murdock. If a Foggy Nelson or Karen Page are here, could you let me know and not leave me hanging? That would be great.

Even if they're not, I guess settling in is a requirement.

I wasn't prepared for today...

[Tony & Pepper]

You're both everything. Thank you for giving me a pretty damn perfect life here. I really fucking love you.

[Nate]

I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. And I have now filled my best friend contract rule #2 for the year.

[Emma]

You make this place bearable when sometimes it isn't. You know I love you, right? I don't have to say it? Except I feel like I do. So yeah. That.

[Marty]

How are you so adorable? And why am I not immune to said adorableness? Guess I like you a lot or something.

[Peter, MJ, Amy, Hope, Tandy]

You all make everything better and I kind of love you a lot.

[Bucky]

You're my favorite to just sit around and not talk with. Thanks for the silence or whatever.

[Damon]

Eat this up, old man. But you're the fucking best.

As far as winter destination jumps go, this one is pretty motherclucking cool. Especially considering it's the first time I've ever been out of the US. Well, not counting places that don't actually exist on earth or alternate reality New Yorks.

If you need me, I'll be busy stuffing my face with all the pad thai and tom yum I can find.

Ladies & gents, we can finally settle the answer to how hot I am. Come see me in my wet shirt.

The only question I need answered, and let's face it it's the most important question, is will Goodland be showing It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown this weekend? If not, me and the Entity are gonna have words.

Dear current residents of Goodland,

If anyone has seen a young, wiry girl with few social graces to her name, please notify her that her brother is, at present, 'home'.

Sincerely,
     Sherlock Holmes

P.S.: Luvsh, hz P ht jlyahpu fvb hyl ylhkpun aopz, P ohcl zvtlaopun vm fvbyz aoha dhyyhuaz ylabyupun.

On the one hand, it would have been weird to see a wolf out running all night with this hat on... but on the other, it's really hard to sleep with this thing attached to my head. Is that just me?

What bloody nonsense is this?

Decidedly not in the mood.

Sometimes self-care is seeing a strange cookie in your room and then throwing it away without opening it.

[ Amy, Lizzie, Josie ]

I'm thinking about ordering a bunch of food and eating it on the roof. Wanna come?

My fortune cookie showed me eating a sausage and mushroom pizza from Lombardi's tonight. Kinda anticlimactic because, yeah, it's a Monday.

That's better than imminent death and mayhem or falling on my face down the stairs, so I guess I'll take it.

It's weird to not be in school when most of my friends are. Not bad, just weird. I do like not having school and work to deal with at the same time. But I'm glad I didn't graduate early. Just don't tell Dr. Saltzman that if he ever shows up here again.

Huh. Cool, I guess.

HOPE MIKAELSON & AMY BENDIX

I hope the Entity didn't stick you with anyone lame.