Things I definitely only have time to do when I have a twisted ankle include spending two hours watching Simone Biles performing a triple double in slow motion trying to figure out if I'm too tall to pull it off.
(I am. I've grown two inches since the Sydney Olympics and even then I was a giant compared to her. As much as I hate to admit it I'd probably end up landing face first and breaking my neck.)
(What's a triple double? A double tuck is a double backflip with legs tucked up, jumping up and flipping backwards twice before landing. That was first performed by a female gymnast in 1976. In 1978 Elena Mukhina performed a twisting double tuck, a double backflip during which she
also spun around in a full circle on the vertical axis - like when dancers spin in a circle. In 1988, Daniela Silivas pulled off a second twist for a double double, which has been one of the hardest tumbling moves ever since. It has an H difficulty rating on a scale of A to I.
Three vertical axis twists at the same time as two on the horizontal axis, backwards, is
completely insane and has a difficulty rating that's literally off the chart. I'm jealous to a probably ridiculous degree, considering how long I've been retired and the fact that I didn't even perform on floor in the first place.)
It feels healed now, at least, so I won't be going down an internet rabbit hole of scrutinising the performances of every active top-ranked gymnast and feeling very old. This is for the best for everyone.
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