Angel Grove Net

My therapist HAS helped me with quite a lot of things and I've come to the realization, this week, that my childhood was dysfunctional and abusive, that I had a right to be happy and healthy and normal that was denied to me, and that despite the fact that Courfeyrac that I know people who have had worse does not invalidate my experiences at all. I had the right to all of those things and it was denied to me and it's all right for me to discuss this fact, and to talk about my experiences with the gravity and respect that they deserve.

I feel oddly freer, and better, than I have in years. Things are still rather awkward and terrible and messed up, but knowing I had that right, that I still am allowed to be happy and well... it helps me all the same somehow. It's like it's peace. Or something like it.

Only, could I please speak to some of the gays here? Some things about my daughter's life and death and my apparent role in the latter aren't adding up for me. Would anyone mind helping me attempt to sort that?

WARNING FOR SUICIDE DISCUSSION IN COMMENTS

So I...

You need to know about stuff with me, internet and why we haven't hung out much, often.
Especially the people who uh. Do the gay or bi thing. ( sexuality and religion discussion in comments probably )

Ever feel like you're on fire for the best of reasons? I can't wait until school actually starts today.

I'm...how do they say it, pretty stoked? And psyched. It's going to be great, I know it!

Brand new Monsieur Pontmercy and brand new chance to turn this year around.

Nothing can go wrong that way, can it?

I said it last year, and I'm saying it this year, despite the fact I know it won't do any actual good:

I am never EVER going back to school.

Like. Ever.

Every year you end up with that one class, the worst, most horrible class you've ever had to deal with since last year. This year, it's fifth period. Fifth period has it in for me and I'm calling it right now.

...How many days til All Saint's Holidays?

The year's turned, and we're looking, once again, at a pair of days for the dead; the past instead of future, and the overwhelming memories too much for one man to bear.

My friends? Do you suppose we might...something or other? I won't be going home tonight.

Isn't it wonderful to know that you're loathed?

Apparently I'm entirely irredeemable and deserved that farm girl's house landing on me. This is what I get for daring to look into what this world knows of Faba and I.

Does anyone here have the ability, interest, and willingness to spring a jail break operation from Paris's largest hospital? I have too much else to do this week and next to be stuck here for the duration, and they've started to let me try breathing without the mask for a few hours at a time during the afternoon. I've not gotten my voice back yet, but even SO. I am so much better than I was.

I have a pageant to direct, exams to grade, a very important promise made to my favorite niece to keep, and, most importantly, Christmas to put on for my twins. This is not the time to be laid up. If I promise to reschedule for in the new year, does the cosmic divide possibly have room to trade things for me now? I promise, I'll ignore this for less than a month now...

Dear Pere Noel, My name is Marius Pontmercy and I have been mostly good this year. I would like one Christmas, our FIRST, to be not ruined. Is that too much to ask? Can't I please go home soon?

( Trigger/Gross Illness Stuff. Blood )

SO, anyone on here with a passing knowledge of the French Education System who wants to help a girl get one over on her unreasonable and unfair parents?

I am never going back to school again, and nobody can make me.

...this is hardly Heaven.

I am very how you say drunk. I am walking home from the pub. The sidewalk is a lot wavy.

Hello everyone! I hope you all are doing well. And if you aren't, I'm here for you. No matter what, we can sit and talk. My im name is Poppyhop, and my email is the same, my phone number is [number]. Feel free to do whatever to contact me.

I love trips to zoos or the park, and find interest in a lot of things. Oh, I'm one of Éponine's kids. Her youngest. My name is Sophia Grace, you can call me Sophia or Poppy. I am 14! I need to find a school to start, somewhere I can have fun. I have teal wings and red hair and just love to enjoy life to the fullest, without causing harm to anyone or myself.

( Cut for image )

I have some more exciting news for everyone. Well, I doubt everyone cares, but those of you who are friends do, and I have to get it out somewhere, right?

I am going to be a teacher! One of the schools I spoke to called me back today to tell me that I had a job waiting for me if I would take it. So next year I will be teaching English and German in a school. Quite possibly linguistics if enough students sign up for that.

It was true, what I said last weekend, about Friday being for the dead and all the days that follow for the living. Friday was still remarkably hard, and I suspect June 6th is going to be hard for years, but well, I'm through it now, and I've been living with my family's grace and understanding, and my friends.

I'm lucky, is the way to put it. And, for once, I feel as though I ought to be here.

My tongue feels like a toilet brush.

Does anyone have a suggested remedy for something like this/

I am pleased to announce the arrival of the two youngest members of the Pontmercy family!

Please meet Fluer Clea and Valjean Montaine Pontmercy!

( our first photo )

Thank you, Courfeyrac, for keeping me calm throughout the process, Bahorel for coming to help us, and Eponine for being a HUGE help over the telephone throughout the process, and a huger one in the hospital. I am not entirely sure what to DO just now, or how to go about it, I mean beyond the basics, of course, but oh my goodness, they are here, and they are beautiful and Cosette is beautiful and everything is perfect. I think that I could not be happier if I tried.

So the twins are finally home.

I forgot how much I missed our own bed. But they're both so beautiful... and so tiny. Holding them kinda chokes me up. Because they are so dependent on 'Ponine and I.
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Say hello to Olivia Beth Dashing( 4lbs 2oz and 13in long), And Benjamin Elijah Dashing (4lbs 8oz, 15in long). Éponine is still exhausted, they were born 7:07am and 7:26am this morning (8 weeks early, the little things). Ben was born first. They have to stay in the hospital for like three weeks, so does Éponine. I can be contacted through text as I am not going to leave their side. They even have a larger bed we were moved to that we can share. I am so happy to be a dad.
( Cut for image )

I really hope I do not have any children running around out there. Mostly because I am not sure I'd be a good father.

I miss Jason terribly.... I was at school today, and I can remember him in the halls... I want to write to him...

I love him. I can see him in the Youth Center, too. It's been so long since I've seen him.