Angel Grove Net

i will be finished my degree in december and its time ive goten interview prep and things practised and like profesional behaviors and…

can I get someone to like check my spelling and grammer on things. Like tutor centre people have helped with asignments but
For other stuff too? Maybe if I had someone to help with Americanised stuff and normal English stuff? Cos while the goals to run my programme out of my land but its no a first justice social worker position is it? and my aprentice isn’t an aprentice anymore, which I am totally proud of her…

im getting one of the two smartest apprentices of the curent lot, I mean he’s a research historian, who’s done lab work when hes off probation at year end and sure hed help but it’s a wee bit awkward having him see how dumb i am early on. were already going from awkward since he does have a history with an ex of mine and some of our lots woried I’ll be bias and i dont want him to worry about it since hes amazing and hell be as good as my thea in no time and i dont wanna look dumb yet anyway.

So any takers? Ill pay. Just too stupid to learn to fix it myself and all. ive got good marks if it wasn’t for this so i just need to make you make things readable yeah?

Passed out on a washroom floor in a restaraunt and ended up in hospital getting fed through an IV drip because I'm not able to swallow right now. They're wanting me to go into some kind of treatment centre but we've not got any plans finalised. Turns out I've lost just under two stone but that's just...December... Being alone at home since my wife's decided to leave hasn't helped. It's no cause but the empty house is no' helping and Meggie's...not coming back...


Suppose I deserve it. I'd imagined diferent after the wedding, but it's becoming quickly clear that no one will ever... Once a piece of unwanted street trash, always a piece of unwanted street trash who'll die alone. Guess I've got to get used to it now before it comes to that


Someone send me suggestions for things to DO here, please?

How do you get out of family holidays youve not got any desire to go on?

This is the WORST time of the year, I swear to fuck. I've always hated it.

were doing our holiday party, meggie and i at our house early this year. this week-end infact. Hoping to show you all weve added to the grounds and celebrate we both passed our semesters and she graduates school this spring and goes to uni and such. its too loaded to do later this year because stuffs been...

we're doing it this weekned anyway: (coordinates)

starting at 7 in the evening on saturday. come by, yeah?

Theres a gymkhana at my old barn that ive been asked to participate in on halowee'n weekend and ill be making the trip down as ive yet to find a new place since Skye's remote as anything else. Theres days its litteraly just my wife who i see though usualy the builders come round to as we work on building up the whole school campus thing but in any case...

Meggies wedding gift for me came at the start of sumer when the ownership of Xanthe who i rode during a thing a few years back, got transferrd to me and i think shes who ill be taking to the show since its low stakes and im not competing. seems unfair when youve been on the grand prix circut. so a good place to see how she does crowd work. I'll be doing a demo for dressage with some kind of interesting freestyle rootine but does anyone have suggestions for a good song to come up with something for? Id welcome almost any vaguely aprorprate ideas.

so far so good at being maried too. i think weve gotten a hold on it somehow. i may not LOVE her but i love her. whoever said to marry your best mate really did have a point after all. Huh.

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I'm getting married in LESS THAN A MONTH.

...I'm TERRIFIED.

Is it too late to yank all but the invites for our witnesses? It's just so many people. Anything could go wrong. They could come back for me, or take her instead, or something equally horrible. I've already had more than one nightmare about being back THERE, with THEM...and I...

There's just so much that can go wrong...

bit short notice but

meggie and i are having a bit of a party out at our new place for First Day/Hogmannay. i realize uncle cal's putting on edinburghs version but seeing as hogmannay's not good for me and the whole time of year is shite, we're making it our own ocasion.

if your wanting to see our new place out on the isle of skye where ive bought land and our first house is now ready for us to move in after weve married, now's the chance to do it.

consider this an oficial invite then?

it was my birthday last week and today i went to meet someone...

i got a pup...or well, she picked me out when we went to see them all.

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shes going to be my suport dog. it was mostly da's idea. meggie told him how i told her i wanted a regular one, but he thought it would be good to train a pup who can help me in the future with my...issues... since ive not been well for a long time now.

she hasnt got a name yet as shes just new but im hoping well find just the one for her. i sort of like Arwen for her like in lord of the rings, as shes very gentle but strong in her own way but Ill take other ideas too? thoughts?

i think its time i started lifting weights gain some muscle and see if i can wear trousers that dont belong to my little sister or cousin. no to mention stamina.

anyone here a jim person? Or wiling to be my workout buddy?

on my great uncles advice that shes been looking sad and may find it like our home, i took my lass to a ceilidh called by my uncle and played by his band. she seemed happeir than she has been here dancing and less solemn and i got a smile out of her that ive only ever seen when i first asked her about us marrying or when were with smoke or the wee goatlings. we were having fun when it came time for dancing Strip The Willow which is a dance we have at home. its fast and raucus and mad and we were in the center of the dance floor spinning and i looked up to meet her eyes and her hair was spinning out behind her like a long banner afire and she laughed the first laugh ive heard from her in...ever...

And that was when i felt a little drunk but no quite on any whiskey and my heartbeat sped up and slowed down all at the same time and i was hot and dizzy all over and i couldnae move and that was when i got knocked into by another dancer switching places and I turned my ankel over and had to sit out a few of the next reels til i felt I could continue but thats no important sae much as...

i KNEW...

the promise ring at christmas and the time weve spent together and the dance tonight (and every other moment well have had this year and many in the last before i kent my 'love' for one in my past was a desperate childish joke as evidenced by my loving a desperate childish waste of life and air and efort and the other was another childish attempt to cling to someone good who id outgrown who needed to be free)they WERE leading up to something to a moment just like this that i can keep and remember forever no matter how long i live.

...being completely fair most of the other dancers at the ceilidh will recall it two but details eh? its cemented were making the right choice to carry on with talking to my therapist as Meggie asked and i will wait for her no matter how hard they decide to make it in this house. some people are just worth the greatest efort ill have ever done and shes my person for it, eh no?

Since some have asked it before a ceilidh's a dance party with traditional music and dances and this is Strip The Willow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vboU2A59POs, but heres how it looks once youve got going: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBCayM6aFJQ

i want to move i think. too many awful memories asociated with the central lowlands somehow. No with my family but with the environment and...

But...the Highlands maybe, or the islands or...somewhere i can start again whilst being close enough at least to visit when i can. im a young man relatively speaking and i dont have to live with ALL of my mistakes. it is still posible to start again. itd take finding space for my beasties but its a thing to consider closely, hm?

putting it all behind me in a place i wont be the fuckup who is never good enough for at least a little while until i fuck it up again's appealing...

Hmm...

do you ever fuly manage to acept the fact your unworthy of love and never going to be matter what you do?

Its why i wanted to marry meggie when I'm no in love with her to have at least a partner or the prospect of a partner in the future and she said shed do it but considering more carefuly, much as i want that partnership its hardly fair when she is good and clever and kind and determined and brave and im none of those things. its why before they threw me out like rubbish or even in the other case emphasized my failure to be worthy of love by choosing from a stable of prized stallions rather than love me.

i dont deny it was their right or my uncles right to deny a betrothel contract for Meggie and me but being thrown away, or just another in the second's parade of sluts or denied the contract for a point years aff in the future really paints a picture does it no?

How do you live realising your unworthy, undeserving and should have died when you were seventeen or long before? does it ever hurt any less to ken the truth of yourself and your future spent alone and that you are and forever will be nothing but cheap trash who shouldn't so much as be near anyone decent lest your scum wear off on them?

it hurts just now is all.

theres times the mission takes more from you then you estemated more than you kent that you had...Maybe more than you did have within you...

mission accomplished.

Im not okay.

how soon d'ye wait before you introduce your new boyfrend to your family?

Emmett:

Step one, complete. Your turn, "boyfriend"

So what do you guys do for fun around here anyway? Are there like any parties or anything I should know about?

aparently , its rude to tell someone youve not seen in some time when they aproach you that you wondered when they were going to apologize for ruining your last almost a year by betraying you.

and also "Good" is a rude response to someone saying their sorry? Even if you mised them you cant just let them get away with what they did by saying it was all right, now can you? especially when you were right all along and they were wrong?

Please advise.

in other better news a wonderful thing has hapened to most of my group of friends and while weve had to move for it, its amazing to know i never have to see someone elses' face ever again.

Craigcrook:

with HIM being outsted from the assassins and arno finaly giving me that apology even though i shouldna have had to ask for it or explain why it was waranted, ive had some amazing thoughts about the future and would like to run them by you as they involve me buying up some land in the highlands to get things moving.

could we talk future plans over tea soon?

Last nite after the dressage at my show i got congratulated by someone from le cadre noir. He admired my seat and hands. and then I saw his ring and, well, turns out I've met my circuit contact, thank you Shaun for finding the one assassin IN The group. We exchanged details and hes wanting me to come to a clinic in the spring. as me and not my alter ego with Cas this time, but on that note...

I'm going to miss "my" horse when this whole thing is over, even if she's not Cassim. She's a great jumper and I think if I had her AND him we'd manage me getting back into eventing full time...

...You think it's at all posible to buy her and have it NOT look suspicious af?

my mam was an Abomination. i was there the day our templars’ put her down. she was also a shite mother so i didnt care. Still hate mages except a couple mind you.

[Aedan & Damien]
This is my formal - and polite - asking of your relationships with Sherrinford. I pride myself on knowing everything about those close to me. And yes, I mean everything.

[Ezio]
Do you like tea or wine?

[Sherrinford]
Leaving and won't be back until late. Don't wait up.