Angel Grove Net

So I woke up today to the nagging sensation I was missing something.

Apparently its my birthday on this planet.

...This isn't Endor.

Han?

Leia?

...father?

When you’re too afraid to like someone and they end up liking other people and you can only blame yourself...

It’s kind of awful.

This place again?

Of all the weirdness I've seen lately, coming back here's almost normal. IF I could be spared. I know time stands still or something like that for us, but it still...I don't like how it feels, not being there for my friends, you know?

WEEEE ERROR ERROR. THE HUMANOID EARTH IS MOVING. ERROR. FUCKING MAKE YOUR STUPID GROUND STOP.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE FUCKING FORCE IS HAPPENING NOW??

WHAT DID YOU JEDI FUCKS DO TO ME?

Holy smokes. Is this a test?

Uh. I don't know this planet. Hello? Leia? Han?

Anyone?

Today, a girl in front of me at the Wall of Marts and her friend were having a discussion and I thought I heard my best friend's name. And then mine. That's weird enough, hearing about how cute we are together, but then her friend says that she "ships us so hard".

I don't...what does that mean on your planet when you say it like that, shipping? Why would these girls even KNOW about us? Is this a...I saw a statue of Kylo Ren, the Sith Lord while I was wandering around the store, but I figured all of you just knew who he was because he's infamous now. Is there something going on that somebody forgot to tell me?

Just...really confused in general if you wanna help a guy out.

So the police here in America, godawful place, aren't too thrilled with me. All I'm doing is locking down this restaurant and demanding everyone, child and old eat a full cow tongue so I can call them a cow. You are what you eat, they say. Ha! I'm so funny.

Even if quite a few in this place might as well count for cows.

Okay, Universe, what have you got heading my way now?

Somebody want to tell me where we are? Cause this is so not what I left behind.

...Rey? You out there, somewhere?

I've got a bad feeling about this

Wha...where am I?! How did I get here?!

Can someone help me, please?