Angel Grove Net

I hate it when I give into my better instincts and altruism. I really do fuck myself over, don't I?

I've done the thing I swore I never would and I graduated at New Years. Roman too, and I may or may not have sired another childe. Long strange story THERE, I fear.

Sometimes life is so much odder than it seems...

The sea off the rocky coast is wild at night. So lost, so desperate and angry and alone...
So melancholy, as if it mourns itself for what has passed and knows it will not come again.
So isolated, yet so safe from more pain than there is now, from more bleakness than lies in wait for us, from the shadow that would consume me...

I resign my fate to the crashing sea, the sharp rocks, and the cold and lonely world off the coast of Wales. I won't leave here by choice again.

Pop question, apropos of…

Let’s consider this a hypothetical…

Can vampire blood heal any potential rabies infection? I know the lacerations would get taken care of, but…

Look, it’s not actually my fault so much as…

You know what, shutting up. Just the question now.

Is it at all odd that I know I'm not ready for the thing I've wanted to be my entire life now that it's been offered me? I will BE ready, and I AM, physically, and probably intellectually and mentally, I think, but...emotionally...it's not being too proud to say that I am smart...smart enough to know that I need more time. I would have jumped into this once, before I started to actually do the work and realized there is so much more to it than working and studying and learning a new way of seeing the world.

I get that's immature and strange that I'm not ready to move up in the ranks but...I'm just not. Suppose I've got that to live with, hmm?

So. I've found us a potential. Not without a few safety risks and I don't know WHO you actual assassins would want to train him, but...he's got good instincts, just about Jay's age, and honestly HE's been weird lately anyway, so I'm thinking a group of us, at least some of the apprentices, maybe one of the younger assassins, or anyone from The Other Side may like to join the three of us for some parkour training? Be a nice way for you to show off.

My father still insists I'm ready, since it's been two years but I don't...

I’ve survived a year as a vampire now. Through no real effort of my own making. Roman and Damon’s effort, mostly, Thea’s blood at first, long story, and my father’s willingness to adjust to the new reality. Not to mention Bonnie, who is the reason I can walk outside, thanks to the bead she made for me last year, and Alexios…

Well…

He saved me from having to be physically dead with the vial he insisted his friends start carrying? He’s…kind of a shite sire, but…

I need to make things right with other people too. Maybe all of them. It’s complicated therapy shit…

My players figured out what I am.

We were having an off-season field trip, and were deep into a mine when the conversation got round to what might happen if we got stuck there. Teenager girls can be shockingly morbid, and, while they determined how they’d decide to make survival choices, which, honestly, great way to find out their relationships off the pitch (at least they like me better than Sofie), the conversation shifted to the topic of “Coach Fishcake” would save us. He’s got his…ways.” It’s clear at least half of them knew exactly what Eclipse meant…

…I think we need to have a team talk before the parents find out my deal. I should have realised it the day Priya and I were doing hooker practice and she said my “water bottle” smelled metallic and weird. Naturally, she told a couple people, who told people, and…

Sofie’s going to kill me for not telling HER first, as co-captain, but…

…I need a smoke. Or ten.

I wish I could hang out with monsters more really. Do you know how fascinating you lot are?

Can I see your fangs maybe?

I have a mate, you wouldn't know him, he's one of the other vampires here. He wants to turn his new friend and has already promised to turn a different friend. But he's new to being a vampire himself and wants to make sure he doesn't kill them. What should I he do?

Mediating a situation with my girls at conditioning clinic has, yet again, recalled a circumstance from my own life that I never properly dealt with, and I need to. Priya, my favorite Hooker EVER has been having a stand off with Twilight and Eclipse, two of the Bellas (yes there are three. The other is called Moon), which is messing up our Front Line, and could hurt them if they play together on a team again or in a league and...we had to deal with it today.

Sofie is better at the interpersonal things than I am by far and...It got me thinking of my own conflicts, as this was SIMILAR, though it had to do with a boyfriend, not a mentor, and...

How'd you apologise for a thing you don't think was wrong but you've found out hurt someone anyway? I have no regrets for my feelings at the time, or standing up for myself, but I regret that this person was collateral damage in a confrontation between myself and someone else all the same. I have the responsibility and the obligation to make things right between us and settle this with some measure of civility and decency, as any reasonable adult with a sense of decorum should.

If I don't want my girls to do it to each other, and would want them to fix it...I have to do the same...

Suggestions would be helpful here.

Coming out to parents who you know aren't going to be horrible about it is best done in person, right? It's time I stop being afraid he's going to think I'm strange and weird and just...do it. Pretending I'm something that I'm not is stupid when there's worse about me than what I like and what my gender is to contend with.


...I'm asexual by the way. Demiromantic though. I fall in love with friends sometimes, even though I don't want to sleep with anyone.

I'm also not a human AND supporting Scotland in the Euro 2020...

...So... I'm telling him tonight, I think... But any ideas as to HOW? Should I order a cake that's black and purple with grey and white icing on the inside, or...

how soon d'ye wait before you introduce your new boyfrend to your family?

Emmett:

Step one, complete. Your turn, "boyfriend"

In the interest of NOT looking like I’m preying on girls six to eight years younger because, seriously, ew, how do you lot keep from licking people who are bleeding in front of you? I don’t want, particularly in our league, to do anything resembling creeper and my co-captain is far better with puke than blood, so I can’t ask her to mop our players up every time they get hurt.

I’m hoping it’s a control thing that fades with time, or...

Uh, excuse me, hello. Can anyone hear me? My name is Sirius and I seem to be lost.

[He clears his throat and talks softer, forgetting he can be heard.] It's also day time and I'm hiding in a bloody closet... Master would be so disappointed.

How do you “come out” if I can call it coming out when it’s not about sexuality, or gender, but another fundamental part of myself that people ought to know? Only a few people, those who couldn’t miss what they saw know just now and some by extension, but not by name. It’s...getting harder to hide, and I’m not ashamed exactly, or worried, but it IS awkward and sort of niche and things...

I wouldn’t trade Father for all the world, but I also really, REALLY miss my mother, as childish as that sounds. There’s times my memory gets vaguer and it makes me scared I’m going to forget her, like, someday I won’t picture her face or hear her voice in my head, and... I don’t know why I felt the need to blurt that, especially when it makes Father upset to talk about her and we haven’t done since she died.

It bothers me.

Monsters are tragic beings;

they are born too tall,

too strong, too heavy,

they are not evil by choice.

That is their tragedy.

I don’t...

Everything of last night’s gone a bit fuzzy and everything hurts like Hell, head is pounding, and...despite feeling poorly, I’m somehow hungrier than I have ever been. More extreme than waking up after being sent to sleep off a bad mood before supper AND tea. However I’m not sure I want to try food because my teeth....

They’ve only hurt like this after the afternoon of root canals. I...

Did I have another fit? And do something to my entire mouth?

...can someone fetch the codeine tablets? And some tea?

I think Christmas is my favourite time of all at Tyr Ydfran. The shore has its own sort of glittery chill beauty and this overwhelming sense of peace, that everything is RIGHT with the world, and can't be ruined no matter what is coming.

It started as a hard year and was a terrible winter and spring, but then it turned round, redeeming itself with me on the path to being happy at last. It's bloody weird living in the same place as Father since it's been months since I moved out, but, so far, it's worked out nicely, perhaps because of the buffer between us.

I think this was the year I did get lucky, even if it wasn't in the way I thought, or with the people I thought. I got a best friend, decent test scores, became headboy, and got both my father and my dream back, along with a little extra. Sophie, from the girls' team at school and I are coaching a local league team of 11-13 year old girls when ruggers starts up this winter and I think I'll be good at it. I HOPE I'll be good at it.

This year's been better than I had any right to expect and I'm glad for it, really glad. What a difference a year makes, eh?

I’d like to document for everyone that today, as we finished off a very successful undertaking, might I add, that my father, the man who it was impossible to convince to train me in our career, for months, admitted to me, on the way to clean up, and BEFORE we hit the pub after clearing things with the boss, told me that he had been wrong. He APOLOGISED for the start of the last year, said that he was proud of me, then told the boss as much.

I hardly could have thought he...

Wow....