Angel Grove Net

Perhaps it's true, what I was told, that we need not be our parents, that I need not live up to Father, and instead, can be myself. It's not so bad a thing to learn now, is it?

So, what if we ignored the warnings in our dreams and went on anyway? Because what did Romeo say, about defying the stars? I want what I am being warned away from, and I am going to keep it, damn it all.

Well, the dreams had a point about how much I drink to escape pain. Apparently, my father had that too, though that was never a...he stopped for ME, even after my useless bitch of a mother...

Well, if he could kick the urge to hit the bottle when it got the hardest, and he could do that with no one but an infant there, and I’ve got a lot more than that, it’s a good idea to try. I don’t do twelve step programs; I find no higher power than myself, gods running around here or no, but I do have to do something. Now.

I’m good to run the pub, but it may be a good idea to take The Boss Man up on hiring more people through this, oui?

I was.... I was supposed to die. I didn't want to... but my new heart... my body rejected it. I just..

Every time I close my eyes I see it. My future if I wasn't here.

"The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which." -Orwell, Animal Farm.

Goddammit. Desmond and I talked about the future, he explained it to...

No, strike that.

FUCK.

I don't much like the person I've become.

I... I die, and I kill Mama too? I need...

I don’t even know what I need.

Everyone seems to be having trouble sleeping. Except me. For once. Usually I do have trouble.

Gavroche

Hey, baby. Are you sleeping okay?

This is why I don't sleep much

How're you lot then?

You know you can't pull the ~ooh, this is your fuuuuuture~ thing on someone who can actually see the future, right?

So glad Urara taught me how to do this before she left. Besides, who'd believe in evil Power Rangers? Udonna and the Mystic Mother wouldn't let that happen

If Rita (or whatever evil that was) could stay away from my Zord, that'd be great.

So, my future's still 'my father dying in my arms as the Legion comes'? Nice to know.

I suppose.

That was...weird. Apparently I’ll end up extradited home if I keep this up. DOES this world’s America and this world’s Russia even work that way? Siberian prison looks grim, but I’m not exactly surprised. I take a lot of risks in the name of rubles, after all. Not that I wouldn’t gamble on a way to change that if everything else was secure...

Also! New Year! I am entertaining if you’d like to come. I took a room in Saint Petersburg again, not as nice as last time, but nice. There’ll be good food, music, a movie, you can drink all you want, and legally that’s 18, but I really won’t check to see if you’re lying, AND given time zones, and transporters, you could celebrate in a few places, so why not with me?

Before my international criminal fame, I guess.

Okay. Whoever's doing this? Stop it.

I can't take this The Legion was easier than this! I've fought Nightmare Lords who were less damned intrusive.

I... I had.... my future... I have to try and change it somehow...

Fantastic holiday! Cupid got a new vest and liver treats and Clint got a real,actual civilian job and both of us finally caught new Star Wars on Saturday where the offer got made to me at all. Someone in a group of kids recognized me, and signed me over with my special field one, from the Hawkeye days, and the teachers and I started talking and I’m the new archery coach at a little school where disabled kids attend, and they’re willing to take me, GED pending and all.

I’d be lying if I wasn’t totally thrilled right now. The dreams were right about needing to make a change! And since I’m not retired from the other stuff yet, it’s the kind of work that’ll be flexible with whatever identity I pick up to come back with.

Okay, also: walking into group therapy to find people you’ve worked with is always awkward. Finding FRIENDS you lost touch with there is ten times more awkward. There’s a lot of us who’ve lost things with our circumstances, I guess.

Christmas..... I'm not as happy as I should be.

Well, that was a miserable start to Christmas. Thanks rotten dream.

Because I know we’ll need a drink especially right now, pub is open through the holidays! I’m around until ten thirty and after two, but others will be around while I am dragged to mass, where apparently our once pub singer, M. Riley will be singing and because Shay wants me to. A disgraced drunk and a traitor walk into a church...working on the joke, but stop by?

Being led into things by others is a good bit of what's gotten me into trouble, so I've learned. But this time the one doing the leading, my best mate, seems to know just what he's doing. Maybe the dreams were here for leading us to this.

There's a much, much better way and a better world, and its in all of us to build it. We're just getting a wee bit of a head start on the others. I think that I can live with that.

Pack:

New faces around the place, aren't there? Care to make some introductions, someone?

It’s not betrayal if you change your mind, now is it?

Time to walk, I think. We all deserve much better. That is what the dreams have taught me so far.

It's... I keep.... my dad... the Hotel..

I can't keep seeing it like this.