The man who trained me, Bellec, always said I was a “stubborn little fuck”. It’s possible he had a point. Clinging to a belief that makes me miserable, out of what I thought may be devotion or loyalty or something else like both of those is probably the hallmark of my stubbornness,
non? There is a line, after all, between moving forward and forgetting, and the former hardly means that I will have erased what was, but instead chose to do what my friends here have told me I should for perhaps years now. It is possible, is it not, to have loved well and deeply, but maybe to find it again?
The fact that I CAN consider the idea of loving again, even if my stupid brain has chosen someone ‘safe’, who I could never truly have, and could not, in any case, create the future I am assured of by those who come later in time in my world, with me, notwithstanding is...I think that maybe I am not shattered into so many pieces as I was, once.
A step forward, then, if inappropriate infatuations are any sign. I can hear my lifelong love, in Paris of three centuries ago, laughing at me for this too, and I dare say she would, if not completely stunned by my infatuations, have pushed for me to try. I hardly think it strong enough to act yet, but the idea that it would not be wrong or betrayal of the past is oddly freeing.
[Locked from canon Assassins, Templars, Shay, and Tadgh]Discovering you may be bisexual at this late age is strange. Is there a Wikipedia for it?