Angel Grove Net

I might need a hospital. And drink.

I'm not even all that sure about the order right now.

So, you wake up from a nightmare to find yourself...plunged into an even deeply weirder place?

Look, weirder than the Fade takes work, is all I'm saying. That said, if whoever's decided it was funny to file off my fucking horns and kidnap me, even when I'm wearing a staff they didn't bother taking off me wants to try their luck explaining?

You can bet I'll be all ears.

Solas? If by some chance you're here, I'd appreciate your take.

There are times still, where an event that happened, causes me heartbreak every time I think about it. I don't know how we as a group survived.

Only two people, and the other younger kids, were there to know the event, but I think it might be a time where I need comfort.

For some in-explicable and stupid reason, tonight's form of Sebastian Cannot Sleep has taken the part of repeatedly going over some of the stupid, and potentially terrible things I managed to accomplish, and the things I PROBABLY accomplished that I never knew the actual results of, back when I was younger, dumber, and a great deal more...

I suppose thoughtless is the word I am so hopelessly groping for? Not thoughtless as in dumb but as in failure to consider not the price of what I did but how it might well have affected others. I've gotten used to losing sleep in the past few years, even more used to losing sleep because of things I've done and the harm they've done to others, and the fact I've willingly made the choices that sent them into harm's way. Guilt, immediate, and that of the past tense...they aren't new things, and I think they're helping, as much as I hate to say that to THEIR faces themselves. And I know I've done a lot of...

Well. Failing means I'm playing, anyway, but that point aside, it's...

Guilt over something that MAY have happened, a very long time ago, over things that would have happened when I was still a boy, borrowing worries as if I needed those is...

It's the definition of insanity isn't it? And, as my grandfather, the only relative who I ever took any stock in, would have said, DID say, when things got to be too serious, we're all a long time dead. He's right, of course but all the same, I can't get it out of my head. This is not even the voice that says I could have, probably SHOULD have died on some of my narrower escapes, but the one saying I probably got people into trouble along the way and may have caused damage I cannot rightly repair now.

And the most annoying part of all of this? I always manage to wake myself up hours before it's close to light, so I can't even think of shooting yet. Has anybody got an indoor archery range that I can borrow, I guess is the question, at all hours of the...

...Who would be opposed to a range like that existing?

I think I ate my weight in pizza yesterday. Ugh.