Angel Grove Net

So I went to enroll for my Senior year and do cheer practice and everything and they told me I graduated! ME! I'm done with school. Apparently I missed the graduation thing with the music and robes, but there was this weird package that I never opened and it's got my paper thing.

So now I'm a graduate! But I think I'm going to keep my cheer uniform.

Right, so. Parenting problem again, because let's face it, only one of us has even tried to figure a way past THEIR teenaged drama and the other one is Enjolras. ...Which does rather leave me, I suppose. But, before I completely digress here, let's get on to the problem.

So this weekend at our son's camp is Parent's Weekend. Considering that said son "hates" everyone in this house right now, so much that he's spending his last summer before going to Conservatory signing up for every kind of three week camp imaginable to see him through to the last two weeks of August, and is still trying to grab something to do for those, is it or is it NOT a good idea to actually attend, particularly when we found out this information not through Antoine, but through the camp itself?

We have one of the most talented young violinists in France living with us just now, perhaps the most talented violinist under age 18 in Paris at the moment,to the point that he's doing graduate level technique and pieces, and I do want to, you know, encourage him to keep going with it, as much as he can. He's worked incredibly hard, is working harder now, and I am so incredibly proud of him that I want to be there and see him often as I can.

But given our...somewhat delicate situation..., involving what amounts to a new stepparent, for lack of having any way to describe it that makes sense, it sometimes feels like approaching things too much are going to lead to massive amounts of pain and trauma for everybody involved.

It almost feels like going, while he's still in this defensive, unreceptive mode, which I actually do GET, is going to set things back further. Should at least one of us risk it anyway?

I can't sleep again. The only thing I can think of is her. How the crowds outside the embassy were calling and I couldn't find her, couldn't save her,couldn't...fuck it.

How the fuck is some record, weird music machine that holds invisible songs? waterfall music recording supposed to help a guy sleep instead of making him have to take a piss every couple of hours? Actually, how the hell DO people sleep around here with the phones and the computer boxes and everything else surrounding you? How have none of you gone insane?


You know, fuck that line of modern age thought for now, it seems like one of those deep questions instead. Let's talk alcohol, everybody here who drinks. Is 'vodko' as offputting as it sounds? Cause I'm a little scared I'll end up naked on a bus somewhere like some kind of really fucked up Otis Campbell twin instead of just your standard issue walking human disaster.

On the other hand, I'm sitting down here starring it down because how else does a guy get some sleep, you know?

Christ, I'm sorry, this is all disjointed and messed up, it's...

Fuck. Just fuck all this.

So, I'm bored out of my mind. Thanks to the Rangers and the Senshi, there's no need for me to do what I did back in my world. And playing with fire gets boring fast. I need something to do.