Welcome to Night Vale

This is…hmm.

Not good. I think not good is definitely how I would describe it…

I mean the technology is fascinating but everything is a bit…bad.

Kasimir, old man, are you around? Zillah? Lilith? Barnaby?

This is better than the box, that's for damn sure. Those angel things are some really weird fucking supes, though. These apartments kind of remind me of the Playboy Mansion, only with a disgusting amount of purple. Is there food here? I'm fucking starving.

Oh, Night Vale. Hello again.

Captain's Log Possible Stardate: 2265.819

As the result of some strange personal and temporal rift, the origins of which remain unknown, I have been transported to a strange planet and unfamiliar place. The technology here is both perplexing and new, while also eerily familiar. As of 0800 hours, I am yet to locate any of my ship's crew, but if they or anyone familiar with the USS Enterprise sees this message, I hope that I will be able to make contact.

The air here is heavy here, thick with a dry heat and if my tricorder readings are correct, low levels of radiation, and the shadows seem to fall at different angles than the position of the sun suggests they should. The night sky is also peculiar, filled with both recognisable constellations and those that I've never seen before.

I don't know if it's the atmosphere, the density of the clouds here, or something else - but too many of those distant, previously uncharted reddish stars seem to blink and...follow you.

Like eyes.

I've never seen anything like it.

Is this Earth?

THIS IS TOO MUCH PURPLE FOR ME TO DEAL WITH

So I'm still trying to get my footing here. I know we're all pretty far from home and everything that that means, so I wouldn't mind having to opportunity to get to know all of you better.

Eadwulf and I have discussed doing a pub crawl just to get a lay of the land and well, because that's honestly the best way to see the sights. If anyone else wants to come, you're welcome.

We're meeting in the town square shortly.

It's disturbing how little things like this are starting to surprise me. Of course I woke up back on Earth and in the past.

Has anyone seen a family of danger prone scientists?
A menacing but actually friend robot?

Failing that, has anyone seen a chicken running around?

I've finally cracked, haven't I?

So it appears that the blue lights on the lake aren't just lights but diminutive little beings who are very angry about their working conditions. And honestly, I can't fault them. They demand better rights and fair compensation and I'm inclined to help them. Anyone with me?

UPDATE: It's transpired that they've been mining the volcano and don't feel fairly compensated, and they're threatening to go eat all our food. So I guess this is an "us" problem now.

[HEPHAESTUS]
You really had no idea? These little ones feel "ripped off" but they did let it slip that they didn't exactly agree on a labour contract with you, so...

I made a new friend. Prudence, I know we talked about names but I have an idea.

Last time I made landfall down a gravity well it did not go super well for me (and that was with a course of medication to ward off the worst of it, which I didn't get to do this time) so if anyone could give me directions to the nearest medical center I would appreciate it. Just in case. I'm near the residential building the message talked about.

My name is Naomi by the way. I've never been to a desert before. It's different.

So it would appear I've been kidnapped by skeletons, which I honestly just...probably should have expected it at this point? Things were going a bit too well. They're polite enough though, and they did ask me to write my own ransom note on account of how they can't read or write. Which...really, I could write anything I like. But seeing as I will probably get bored of this soon, I really ought to share their demands.

They want...okay, I probably should have paid more attention when they were telling me that part, but in my defense, I was bored and also did not really care all that much. They should have thought about this before picking me because I have never in my life not made my existence someone's problem and I intend to make them suffer. But just in case I get sick of this before they give up, I think they wanted a great deal of...I think they said fledge? So just a lot of feathers. Can't begin to say why.

In the meantime, I plan to make them regret everything. Have fun, lovelies.

Ooooh boy.

Uh, hello? I'm Pike. And yeah.

Vox Machina buddies? You there?

I didn't do this This isn't my fault Did I do this?

I'm not sure how to feel about this.

strange.

You're here too, aren't you?

This definitely isn’t Geth.

Not to alarm anyone but I've been picking up some abnormal energy spikes around The Last Resort during the last few days. Could be nothing. Could be something we can't do anything about. Either way, I thought I'd give everyone a heads up.

And I'm just going to hope this has nothing to do with the Shadowcrest

This is the second time I am about to go kill an Emperor and find myself here instead. Night Vale, you tease.

Urianger, what have you done now?

This certainly is not the Source.

By the Twelve, I need a drink.

Someone has ten seconds to reply to this and explain how come I'm here again but was back in Geth before and had no recollection of this place but I do now. Or else.