Welcome to Night Vale

I don't think I'll be watching Fight Club anymore. It was bad enough when it was just Laurel and Sara but watching Oliver fight... Someone said something about a book club? I just need something to do. What I wouldn't give for something to hack.

private to oliver
How are you settling in? Do you need anything?

Fuck this.

danny.

I need to get out of town for a bit. Don't worry, okay?

coulson.

You around?

bobbi.

Gonna miss girl's night.

emma.

If I don't get away for a bit I'm gonna start an earthquake so...uh...just giving you a heads up.

Do people who die come back to life here a lot? Even the bad ones?

Private to Nancy and Steve
I saw my papa today. The one who made me and brought the monsters to Hawkins. I think he didn't see me but I saw him.

Well this is new....and for me, that's saying something.

Let me introduce myself this time.

I am Costia. Your home is very different to mine, like something from legend. Here are the things that I like so far:

Phones
Radio
Bananas
Peanut butter
Ice cream
Getting the bus - I want to try to drive a car but nobody will let me.
Arby's
Bowling - but I do not understand the ritual of the shoes.

I want to do something useful while I am here. I can't sit and do nothing! I am a warrior. I know that there is no war here, but I could guard your store from thieves, or teach you to fight.

Not that I am not happy to be out of there, but where am I?

Right. So since Lance is gone and building new friendships is ultimately meaningless and everyone eventually leaves the Pour Judgment could use a new bartender. Or maybe a couple. That way when someone else just up and vanishes, we won't have to drag in someone new

If anyone has any interest, just let me know.

This is fine

corazón & prudence.

Alternately, we just...shut the pub down and just stay in Necropolis-non-Sea forever and just don't try to make new friends who will ultimately abandon us any more.

That's also a thought.

Thought I'd let people know who knew him that Lance Hunter isn't around here anymore. Think I'm going to go hit things and work out for a bit.

I'm going to miss the beach and the ocean. It was the first time I could really swim in private since I've gotten here.

Which is kinda my fault, I wasn't sure how open I could be here. I couldn't back home, too many close calls with people want to use or experiment on you. I became a little braver after observing this place for a while.

So I guess this is my official I'm a mermaid statement?

It's 2 AM, I've had too much sugar because of a certain someone who will not be named, but — Reply to this with just your name! Then anyone can comment with a symbol/question they want to know and you have to answer. Meme rules, bro.

ʘ Four tv shows you enjoy that were made in the last five years
ʑ   Nine men with faces that you like the look of
ɣ   Nine women with faces that you like the look of
ʬ   Four tv shows you enjoyed that were made more five years ago
ʡ   Five style inspiration photos
Φ   Six of the most recent films you have watched
ψ   Four favourite cities or towns you have visited
Ω   Three pictures of your favourite kind of weather
Δ   Four selfies
ς   Four places you would like to visit
Ϫ   Six tv shows you enjoyed as a child
Ϡ   Four people from history that you find interesting
҂   Nine favourite things to eat
҉   Nine favourite things to drink
∑   Three things you’re excited for

[Míriel's comments come to you via a handy network translator since right now she only speaks Quenya. She'll work on that.]

What strangeness there is here! What marvels in metal! I know that I am not in Tirion, nor any part of the blessed land touched by the Light. Nor is this the land of my childhood.

Tell me, what is that great light in the sky that outshines every one of our lady Varda's stars? Who wrought such a thing?

Well, great. Apparently Teleport just dumps me right back where I started, and now I've wasted a spell slot.

Does anyone want to tell me what in the hell is going on here? Or am I going to have to burn something down? I'm not just letting someone Not again

Trying to find enough bands to have a battle of the bands is proving harder than I expected. I knew the weirdness of this place made it a little offbeat but I figured there would be at least a couple of people with bands.

It was so much easier back home.

private to the teenagers of Night Vale
I think we should throw a party on the beach before it disappears again. I can't cook, or should cook, but one of us has to be decent enough to work a bbq grill? It could be fun. Music. Maybe a bonfire?

one of these days, something as actually going to make sense, but i don't think it's today and i'm weirdly okay with that given the circumstances.

i'm not sure how winning hurts more?

[ FIVE ]

i can't move my right arm higher than my chest. i genuinely think i'm having a heart attack in my 20s. is that even possible? who knows. not me.

Everytime I think I've gotten a handle on the single mom thing, something comes up. Like the fact that I cannot, for the life of me, put together some furniture for Mia's nursery. I will feed (and be feed I mean order pizza) anyone willing to save me from this nightmare. I don't think my thumbnail will survive another mishap with a hammer.

Does anyone else feel like July's flown by? Shit This is fine

On the plus side, the hotter it gets, the more like home it feels.

quistis.

Is it normal to be panicking? It's normal, right?

But hey...at least once the wedding is over with, that's one less thing for you to organize.

Which now that I think about it, you might actually be happier with more things to organize.

Ignore me.

nureyev.

I'm not panicking. You're panicking.

mick.

Got a favor to ask.

Ya know... I'm not from this planet and I don't pretend to know half the traditions or cultural norms but... is this normal behavior??

Someone put a call in and now I don't even know how to put this in my damn report.



..should I be worried about the ground for some reason?
I swear if there's a Krayt dragon here I'll lose my damn mind

Well. Guess it's a good thing I didn't bother getting used to the weather on Leith. Again. Free housing's appreciated, but since walking into the desert doesn't seem to get me anywhere, I'd kill for a distraction. Preferably the kind that pays.

Also, probably not much point asking, but - are there any other RAC agents here?

This is [...] huh. Definitely new. Definitely not where I went to sleep. My mom's going to kill me

So I've read back a little, I think I get the lay of the land. Kind of. Am I understanding right that we're basically trapped, no way home, and this town is about as abnormal as it gets?

Are we supposed to introduce ourselves like we're on match.com?

Okay, here goes: Hi, I'm Ben Braeden. I'm a Leo, I enjoy long walks on the beach (apparently there's one of those?), apple pie, and hunting evil being elbow-deep in obscure mythological lore. Nice to meet everyone? There, that doesn't sound completely stupid, right?

You've got to be kidding me? If I was just kidnapped by a beam of light for another crossover, I'm going to be super pissed because I said no more.

Couldn't even let me partake in the afterparty with my team, huh? They better not be getting into any trouble without me. What year did I end up in this time?