Welcome to Night Vale

So, we're doing this again, huh? I mean, at least this time I actually fucking remember everything so it's not a take two on the confusion, but I wish reality could make up its mind on whether it wants me dead or not.

So. Which of you assholes are still about? Or have we cycled to a brand new crop?

panam.

Johnny's gone.

Want to go out to the desert for the weekend? Just rough it. Take a break from this place?

jason + dean (added after conversation with panam).

Panam said I should talk to you guys.

Need anyone else to work on cars?

Thought I'd let people know who knew him that Lance Hunter isn't around here anymore. Think I'm going to go hit things and work out for a bit.

So, the woman who brought up getting together a roller derby team has begged off trying to do it. I honestly could use an outlet I volunteered to take up the cause and set one up. I'm not sure if there are teams in nearby towns we could play against but if we got enough people we could do some playing.

I just need to know who is interested and some ideas for names.

And in the name of curiosity, what is the worst injury you've ever gotten or given yourself? I've been shot a few times and then there was the falling to my death.

Okay, I'm bored, traumatised and sore. My boyfriend is fetching ice cream and there's fuck all I want to watch, so I'm sitting here trying not to think about the plants trying to attack again.

So, Night Vale, it's time for some pre-college intrigue. Fuck, Marry, Kill. You say you're in, I'll give you three Night Vale transplants, you pick whom to fuck, marry or kill.

You are welcome to get in on it yourselves, this is officially distraction central.

This place is, honest to god, like some sort of fucked up fever dream. I find a sparkly easter egg and leave it on the window sill expecting it to eventually go rotten. And what I find instead of a well off hard-boiled egg is a fucking tiny video game character.

Is this honestly someone's idea of a joke? Did I get dosed with something, or is the fucking Yoshi running around my room actually real? I mean, the fact that it seems to be eating everything that's not nailed down kind of points to it being real, but all the same. What the actual fuck?

I'm honestly starting to wonder about this place. All the singing is (was? is it over yet?) definitely a choice... but you'd think it would come up with something less annoying than forcing everyone launch into fucking showtunes.

Flowers are nice, though. Been awhile since I've seen anything like this. Actually, pretty sure it's the first time I've seen anything like this.

johnny/v

You up for an explore, kid?

I also think I might have pissed someone off by accident. Again.

A Date

V / Panam
"This was, to Panam's hope, a date"

Night Vale Desert | PG (could change) | ETC

( Read more... )

Reminder: do not touch anything weird, or floating. So far I've almost set my couches on fire. Even holding this is precarious. I'm just gonna go sit on my hands.

[V]
Hey. How's things?

All my clothes are red and white, so my day is going great.

NEVER FADE AWAY

V / JOHNNY SILVERHAND
"Wake the fuck up, Samurai"

A PARKING LOT | PG-13 | SWEARING, JOHNNY BEING JOHNNY

( Read more... )

What kind of mindfuckery bullshit is this? Saburo, you bastard, what the hell did you do to me? Where am I?

I must have taken a wrong turn there, because I don't recognize this town at all. It's not on any maps.

Saul is gonna kill me.

( LETS TALK ABOUT SEX BAYBEE. )

Now that it is official, and I have been accepted I'm glad to say I am now one of the Housing Assistants. For those of us who are new and have only just arrived, allow me introductions. I am Zelda and it's very nice to meet you.

Please don't hesitate to come to me with any questions but I have noticed a lot of us have very similar ones. Like;
-How did we get here
-What brought us here
-How can we get home

Alas none of those questions have what I would call good answers in that they are all either we do not know, or as far as we know it we cannot return voluntarily. We do know time is a little odd, which I am sure is not very comforting either. I am very sorry if any of those answers disturb anyone, and if you should like to discuss things I'm always available and to be found in room 1211.

As for my duties while I'm of course happy to help everyone who needs it, I would like to shift my focus on those of us who do not come from Earth, or those planets with a similar sense of technology. Goddesses know I was very confused by everything when I got here so if you'd like to figure out what everything does in your quarters or why you should definitely avoid the loud metal things called cars I'm very happy to help. I can also help with the devices, although I'm still learning what exactly they do but I'm sure if anyone would care to know I'll at least be able to point you in the right directions.

Beyond those duties I also do a little embroidery, mostly because like many of you I am disappointed going to the library would require a touch more skill with weapons then I have, and while I understand it's not a very active skill I'm always happy to teach it. Or if you'd like something embroidered, do let me know. I also can teach the harp or ocarina.

I'm taking lessons as well. I've learned that while it's very grand I can heal, it would probably do me very good to know what I am doing. I'd not like to inadvertently hurt someone, because I know healers do more then simply patch a wound.

What's up, name's Jackie Welles.

I know this is la Noche Vieja and almost nothing's open, so does anyone know where a tío can get something to eat?

SPOILERS FOR CYBERPUNK 2077 IN COMMENTS

What the fuck, Alt?

This isn’t what we agreed to.

You’re supposed to be fixing this shit, not dropping me in some bullshit desert sim.

CYBERPUNK 2077 SPOILERS IN COMMENTS

.