Welcome to Night Vale

It's weird to think it'll be a year here next month.

steve.

Guess it's back to just us. I mean, and Brooke obviously. But El and Tommy are gone so it's just us in the apartment again. Unless you want to invite Brooke.

quistis.

You work for a private investigation office, right?

aelwyn.

Everything just kind of sucks and I need a break. Are you busy?

( Read more... )

So, I'm assuming everyone noticed a mass exodus of people? Anyone keeping track of this stuff?

We just lost... like most of our workforce in the department, so if shit is going wrong, just... bare with us? Anyone interested in working for the PD, we've got an abundance of space now.

[ MORGAN STARK (AU) ]

How do you feel about ice cream, popcorn and a shitty movie on a tiny tv on my ship? I could do with a little company if you're up for it?

You know, if there's one nice thing I can say about this place, it's that it really made Broxton, Oklahoma seem appealing.

[Billy Kaplan]

You're buying me a new ringlight. This one's tainted now.

Well.

I guess it was fun while it lasted.

I'll be junctioning later, ignore the giant water snake in the desert.

[ MICK ST. JOHN ]

Because Juno was actually sensible at times, there are arrangements left to grant me ownership of Steel Investigations. Given I pay all the bills anyway, this isn't exactly a large shift in responsibilities.

However, it does mean your workload is about to double. Unless I need to find another investigator?

Show of hands, how many others here are single parents who spend most of their time socializing with the pre-preschool crowd? For those that can say 'yes' -- any interest in, perhaps, a weekly play group where the kids can entertain each other and we can have real, adult conversation?

Maybe it's just because the last few years have been kind of crazy, but I feel like I'm going to lose my mind from boredom here. Anyone else feeling it?

[ EMMA ]

I can't take sitting on my butt anymore and I'm told you're the PiC with the sheriff's department. Any chance you've got an opening?

Putting together an entertainment center shouldn't be so difficult?

I got an A in Organic Chemistry which is undeniably more complex. But this will be my downfall. When I die and my brain oozes out my ears just toss me into the broccoli plush bin at IKEA where I belong.

[ FILTERED TO MOON PIE, TWIN, ELLIE ]

Ladies, laaaadies - it is not too early to think about Halloween. Or that the friggin' Devil will likely be throwing a party. So. Thoughts?

[ EDDIE BROCK ]

I know you just left to pick up dinner but!
1. Tell V I miss him already
2. Get like.. all the extra sauces.

Okay, I'm calling it.

One of these snakes is most definitely a boy, and now I have absolutely got an egg situation. Curse you, St Patrick. On the flip side, tiny little baby snakes? My inner child is squeeing.

As impending grandmother-hood looms on my 20-something ass, I'm looking for a sparring partner. My condition is that you must be invulnerable, and I'm not talking 'oh, I can take a hit', I mean in-fucking-vulnerable. I can throw a tank to the god-damned moon, I don't need the guilt of punching your face through your skull and the healers not being able to fix it.

Hit me up; 1-800-AMERICA-KICKED-MY-ASS (don't dial that, i have no idea what weird kinky line you'll end up on here).

We're just about to when everyone starts decorating for Halloween, so a public service announcement:

Do not go to the creepy occult bookstore for inspiration, don't buy a dusty old book written primarily in Latin, and definitely do not draw any of the symbols if you ignore my advice and do the first two. Especially don't draw any of the symbols in blood -- human or otherwise.

» Ya know what?
» I'm queue'd up at the market and I can't stop thinking about you.

» And the fact that you got to donnybrook with a bunch of dinosaurs.

I almost forgot what a night out to just cut loose felt like. A+, 10/10, highly recommend.

Is there a place yet to post reviews for Lux? 'cause I'm gonna.

[ LUCIFER ]

So, about the other night.

Any interest in making that a casual, semi-regular thing?

[Sharon Carter, Natasha Romanoff(s), Clint Barton, Frankie Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Tony Stark (MCU), Morgan Stark (AU), Sam Wilson, Zemo & Ava Starr]

So, it's pretty likely that nothing will come of this - and this person isn't even in Night Vale, and might never be - but. I'm assuming we've all seen the bright pink posters up everywhere. Right? Right.

[...]

Marjorine seems like a nice girl. And while I don't think we'll actually be able to help her, I'd like to be able to say I tried. And I know you're all pretty good at finding people, for one reason or another so I thought maybe we could at least give it a shot?

If you're busy, that's all fine [...] I'm just trying to get better at helping people when they ask for help.

» I've been thinking.
» You should move to Shadowcrest?

» And also attend Lucifer's party with me tonight?
» Less serious a commitment, but equally as important a question.

( PARTY AT LUX; COME ONE COME ALL! )

That lovely season that I only just learned about, Fall, is fast approaching which means all the spiders are coming indoors to.... hibernate for the winter? Is that how that works? It sounds a lot better than 'lay eggs in our orifices while we sleep so their tiny children have a snack when they hatch.'

They are absolutely giant and no, I'm not scared at all. My shrieking is purely coincidental.

So my question is..

If I get bit by one of those strange spiders do I become a Spider-Pikachu akin to this world like the Amazing Cindy or like... do I just become a Galvantula?

Just for the record I would rather not get bit by anything, while here, so this is definitely not an invitation. I totally deleted my Bumble account specifically for those reasons.

Is anyone going to karaoke tomorrow that might want to do a duet? I'm looking forward to just letting go. No, that is not a pun to hint I will be singing that.

I need a couple new workout playlists. I've resorted to cycling through the Dance Mix USA volumes and there's only so much I can hear the same synth drumbeat before I completely zone and lose focus.

Alternatively I'll accept applications for a running partner?

Music or miles - throw it at me!

are raccoons like cats? or. like. foxes? i dunno what group of animals they fall into.

googling is failing me, so like, someone else do it? also, what kind of disease causes a wound to go yellowygreen within like... nine hours?

furthermore. do cats sense when you're about to die? is that why they're being nice to me for the first time like. ever?

none of this is for a friend. it's all for me. by now everyone know this is all for me.

How common is it for this place to give you things from home? Is that a regular occurrence or just good karma? Asking for a friend.

[ELIOT + QUENTIN]

Pack up your shit, boys.