Welcome to Night Vale

Honestly glad that fear bullshit skipped me over

I finally tried Taco Bell. It's terrible and also I want ten more tacos. What the fuck?

Also I'm married now which...what the fuck?

quistis.

Thanks for all your help with everything. I really couldn't have done any of that without you.

jupeter.

So, Mr. Steel, how are you liking this whole being hitched thing?

Everything is being weird and mean. So, I left cookies outside everyone's door! Even the ones that don't live in the Last Resort or have an actual door! If you don't like cookies, who hurt you? that's okay. Someone will take them.

[ shaggy ]

You're like totally okay, right?

[ blossom ]

Don't worry, the kitchen didn't explode this time.

[ zelda ]

How are you?

Is there like some kind of downside medically speaking to constantly having an adrenaline spike?

Like, y'know those old movies where people die of fright or something, are those legit?

I am not asking for a friend.

DELIVERED TO BUBBLES

a slap bracelet
pack of pens
a reversible plush
with a note that reads: "for like the most raddest girl in night vale!"

TEXT TO DAPHNE

» I think I like, you know, totally like Bubbles?

» OHMYGOD
» Did you see it!?
» The fair!?

Uh...

Anybody want some cookies? I made too many. Way too many. A million too many. Like, probably could feed the entire building too many. I don't know how this happened?

It just HAD to be Hellhounds, didn't it?

Like man... either I'm having one heck of a lucid dream or I need to stop smoking so much.

This totally reminds me of like, that Plants vs Zombies game — and like man, I definitely don't want to see the zombies!

Like, man oh man — look at what was sitting outside the hotel this morning afternoon!



I haven't been this happy since Scoob and I totally ate our way through Dobb's Dawg House Hot Dogs menu. Twice!

( ...what kind of brownies? )

Oh crap. Oh crap. It was just suppose to be a tiny tornado. Oh crap. Oh crap.

Um. Excuse me. Oh crap. Anyone seen my sisters? What about the Professor? I'd settle for Professor. But only if everyone can agree that the tornado wasn't me.

Like man - it is one of my most favoritist days of the whole year! Deep Dish Pizza Day.

An extra sprinkle of parmesan plus some bacon bits and pickles is like... totally one of the greatest flavor combinations known to man. Like no toppings are the wrong toppings but definitely hold the anchovies!

— Daph I hope you've saved room for a big dinner cause I'm bringing home like four different pies!

What the—

This stuff is strong, man.

[...]

...are we in a musical?

Like I don’t know what was in those five-day-old brownies from the birthday at the bowling alley but like... I’m pretty sure I have two sets of ears. And a tail. Am I a cat person now, man? Is this Cats? Wait.... I’ve got like..... armpit wings? [...] I’m some sort of woodland creature.

Hey Daph, like I don’t think I can come home? Scoob might like, chase me out and try to eat me, ha!

[...] I feel like I can hear the sand moving....

If a curry is food on top of starch...just, as a general category.

Is a loaded baked potato a curry?

Thoughts?

all this running around and stuff folks are doing just reminds me of those dumb cartoons, you know. the one where those guys are trying to catch that pigeon that's just delivering letters or some shit and the guys in planes wanna get 'em? and then they did that whacky races thing with the cars cause attacking pigeons in planes was suddenly a bit much?

now you gotta learn shit when you watch tv.

This mask is ridiculous. I look ridiculous. What the hell.

And now my face hurts from trying to take it off. You probably shouldn't try to take it off. Even my healing rune isn't doing anything for it.

Not to alarm anyone, but should we perhaps collectively talk about the fact that nothing seems to be casting a shadow, today?

[ voice post + replies, pretend this was posted last night ]


Like, man oh man... is anyone else like totally okay with having a 3-part stomach? I could totally eat like, the entirety of Big Rico's pizza right now, ha ha!