Welcome to Night Vale

You know there was a time when my friends and I had to be careful during the full moon. It always caused us to behave oddly, and let's just say that I'm very glad I don't have to worry about that anymore. I couldn't say what changed, but after a while, it was like we were immune to it.

So in the spirit of not covering my windows for the night, I'm going to check out the harvest festival this evening!

How much sand inhalation is too much? Asking for a friend who isn't sorry for the huge dust cloud.

» Uh, Code Blue
» There is a mermaid in my lake.

» Is this your doing??

Okay, I'm bored, traumatised and sore. My boyfriend is fetching ice cream and there's fuck all I want to watch, so I'm sitting here trying not to think about the plants trying to attack again.

So, Night Vale, it's time for some pre-college intrigue. Fuck, Marry, Kill. You say you're in, I'll give you three Night Vale transplants, you pick whom to fuck, marry or kill.

You are welcome to get in on it yourselves, this is officially distraction central.

[GREEK LIGHTNING]

Where is everyone? Is anyone hurt? I just - I want to make sure you're all okay.

_{filted to Greek &Norse Pantheons}

[EROS & PERSEPHONE]

Aphrodite and I can't get out of our apartment at all - what about the two of you? Do you think you can get to us?

GREEK FILTER

Looking at another family brunch for the 23rd. Mark your coquina clam shells.

Also Triton is here.

EMMA

Do you want to meet my son? It’s fine if you don’t - I mean he’s sticky usually, so I get it. But he just arrived and I’m having a proud parent moment.

WANDA

If I were to need your services in the future.... could I possibly pay you in trinkets and a private spot on the beach for your daycare?

Alright I missed the weekend. So sue me..

But I hope you all can make it to family brunch next weekend. It's not mandatory like Zeus' but then it's also not being held in a strip club. So. Come or don't, it's no scales off my back.

We're having waffles.

[ STEVE ROGERS ]

» You can stop knitting baby blankets.
» False alarm.

[ POSEIDON ]

» I got scientific confirmation.
» Not pregnant.
» No onions needed.

[ KATE PRYDE ]

» I desperately need to get drunk and be sloppy.
» Girls night in?

( Read more... )

[ OLYMPIANS ]

Hera and Hades aren't on this plane anymore.

Who knows, maybe our Great King finally set fire to Olympus and Hera was needed.

[ KORE ]

It feels like there's something off in the Underworld, a... I'm not sure, there's an imbalance somewhere.

It's likely called Hades back to deal with it. I have faith he'll be back.

Let me know if you need something?

[ POSEIDON ]

I need you to do something for me, and ask no questions about why, and then I need your ass inside.

Think you can do that?

[ STEVE ]

You have an eidetic memory, right?

That is a thing you have.

The musicians wrote a song about me and even though I've never spent much time on rooftops, I appreciate the imagery. And the strings. I've heard it a fair few times now.

Waking this morning, I was glad to see the snake that I thought was a οχιά that I nearly stepped on wasn't venomous. Once at home in Phthia we had an entire nest of the things, it was one of the only times I saw my father afraid. I knew my fate was not to die from a οχιά bite, though, so I was not afraid. All of those needless risks. You look back and shake your head at yourself for taking them, once you're old enough to realize how much you had to lose.

I'm listening to the song again. Is it only because I like to hear the man's voice singing my name and it reminds me of happier times and adoring crowds and he sounds a little bit like Patroclus?

... maybe.

» The Fates hate me.
» I have never done anything to upset them.
» [...]
» Well... there was the one time I hit on Lachesis.
» But I hardly think that's cause for eternal torment?

» Or maybe not wearing pants is attracting the wrongs types...

» Regardless; I ask for mermaids and instead get merbros.
» And I'm pretty sure the one is ready to wipe out humanity at any given second.
» [...]
» I'm gonna get him a therapy dolphin.

The desert.

Whatever the hell decided to bring me here must have a really twisted sense of humor.

I'd find it funny if I didn't have a kingdom I'm supposed to be running back home.

Anyone got a pool I can use for a few hours a day and occasionally sleep in? An ocean is preferred, but I'm definitely not finding one of those around here.

To whatever surface dwellers my message may concern:

I may not know who you are, or what you want with me. But I assure you that you know not what you have done, or with whom you have trifled.

If I am not returned to the sea immediately, then I shall have no choice but to once again DECLARE WAR on the surface world. Rest assured that if I am tested, there are none among you who will escape my wrath.

IMPERIUS REX!

You know, when I asked for a vacation? I was thinking more tourist traps and lame shirts that I could wear to deter people. Not whatever the fuck this is? But, alright. Cool. Whatever. This is fine.

FILTERED TO LORE OLYMPUS / GREEK MYTHOS CHARS / MAL

I realize I haven't been the most sociable individual since my arrival here a few weeks ago. Shocking, I know. I've been a bit slow to adjust and settle in, but as it looks like I'm not going anywhere quickly, I figured it would be prudent to check in with all of you. Let you know I'm still here and haven't turned into a llama or anything.

That's all, I suppose. If anyone needs anything, just let me know.

FILTERED TO HEPHESTUS

I only just noticed you arrived while I was off...well, hiding from everything. I'm sure this is quite the change of pace for both of us. How are you?

FILTERED TO PERSEPHONE

I'm terribly sorry for being so absent lately. It's absolutely nothing at all to do with you, and simply my own inability to deal with these sorts of changes in my life. I'd like to see you soon, though. If that's all right with you.

At some point a job might be required, and no, I don't count charming Eros' parties as a job, even though it feels like one at times. I'm missing the Underworld. Night rarely lasts long enough here.

So if I plunge the place into darkness for a day or two, deal with it.

[ HEPHAESTUS ]

How're you adapting to being thrown back into civilisation?

No thank you.

I’ve noticed an increase of mortals picnicking at my lake. I’m assuming this is because of the fast-approaching holiday?

For the record everyone is welcome....

So long as you don't litter because that's fucking disgusting. Other than that I don’t really care......... but I refuse to put pants on for your silly lunches / awkward make out sessions.