Welcome to Night Vale

[Sharon Carter, Natasha Romanoff(s), Clint Barton, Frankie Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Tony Stark (MCU), Morgan Stark (AU), Sam Wilson, Zemo & Ava Starr]

So, it's pretty likely that nothing will come of this - and this person isn't even in Night Vale, and might never be - but. I'm assuming we've all seen the bright pink posters up everywhere. Right? Right.

[...]

Marjorine seems like a nice girl. And while I don't think we'll actually be able to help her, I'd like to be able to say I tried. And I know you're all pretty good at finding people, for one reason or another so I thought maybe we could at least give it a shot?

If you're busy, that's all fine [...] I'm just trying to get better at helping people when they ask for help.

I'm not used to introductions. In most of the places I go, people usually already have some idea of who I am - it's usually the wrong idea, for one reason or another, but all the same - I don't like talking about myself.

My name is Stephanie, or Steph, Cap, Capsicle, Winghead - or Captain America. I'm an Avenger, and I've heard there are a few of us here - though not necessarily from the same universe I am [...] I guess I don't need to introduce myself to any of you - however, I would like to get to know you.

So let's talk. And everyone else that's in this strange, desert boat with me? Feel free to tell me about yourself, too

-- Hey kid.

This place is still strange but I think perhaps I like it. A little.

filtered to natashas.

Мне сказали, что у меня здесь много сестер. Это правда?

filtered to frankie.

Do you drink vodka?

что это такое?

This is interesting.

Does not seem like my kind of thing, but I can adapt. I'm good at that.

How much sand inhalation is too much? Asking for a friend who isn't sorry for the huge dust cloud.

So, the woman who brought up getting together a roller derby team has begged off trying to do it. I honestly could use an outlet I volunteered to take up the cause and set one up. I'm not sure if there are teams in nearby towns we could play against but if we got enough people we could do some playing.

I just need to know who is interested and some ideas for names.

And in the name of curiosity, what is the worst injury you've ever gotten or given yourself? I've been shot a few times and then there was the falling to my death.

I've successfully trained my egg monster to dance the Macarena. I think it's starting to actually like me now.

Ha.

Ha, ha.

I am so bored, someone give me a murder to solve. 😭

» So like...
» In a new twist of the creepy and insane, even for me
» I appear to be handcuffed to a dead body.

» And before you ask, I did not do this to myself, I 100% went to bed where I should've
» Maybe not when I should've or in a state that makes it appropriate to... never mind
» Important thing... I'm handcuffed to a body in a coffin, there's a Yoshi here, and I can't reach the kitchen...

» Captain Canadia, you're my only hope.

Since it was such a success this month, for June, Fight Club will be hosting another tournament, this time sponsoring the Night Vale Animal Shelter. Although the main event will be happening later in the month, date TBD, I'm taking sign-ups starting now.

Additionally, next Saturday, we will be taking over the NVCC's gym for our first theme night: anyone interested in learning or practicing with bladed (or blade-like) weapons, come on out.

I swear to God, Fury, if you've Report?

What an exciting way to begin my day.

[Tony Stark]

Are you here - do you know what’s going on? What the hell is a Night Vale?

I just want to thank everyone who came out last night, participants and spectators alike. We had a pretty awesome crowd, so again, thank you for showing up.

What are everyone's thoughts about making this a monthly charity fundraiser? Prizes, still, but I feel like we could raise a good bit of money for good causes.

I'm kind of a little disappointed that I didn't get an egg, but knowing Hawkeye luck, I'd have gotten an egg monster.

Still - it would have been cool.

amerikate.

I'm SO bored. Like cause problems on purpose bored.

hawkeyes.

You cool if I steal Lucky for a bit?

beaus and arrows.

So you're doing the fight club tournament?

Real funny, give a guy an evil slime monster egg.

Shooting it didn't do a damn thing. Anyone else got any bright ideas before I try driving it into the desert and leaving it for some other sorry sonofabitch to find?

Not to be 'that guy', but um, a little violence is definitely good for the soul.

Now all I need is a high building to toss myself off and I should be set for the month.

[ TOM ]

Captain Canadia, please tell me you have some more of that not-coconut-oil shit? Or at least something for stiff ribs?

It oughta be against the law for a dead guy to have insomnia. I should either not get tired anymore or sleep like a god damn baby.

Anyone got an idea on how to get some shut eye? I think I've drank all the whiskey.

D'you wanna know what?

This one's not so bad.

Why would you send me a card saying you're glad we're friends anonymously. This makes no sense. I guess I'm glad we're friends too? Whoever you are?