Welcome to Night Vale

I need a couple new workout playlists. I've resorted to cycling through the Dance Mix USA volumes and there's only so much I can hear the same synth drumbeat before I completely zone and lose focus.

Alternatively I'll accept applications for a running partner?

Music or miles - throw it at me!

Making Smash dude bros cry while I main Jigglypuff is peak living.

[ kate bishop ]

Hi. Yes. Hello. I am f!@#ing cashing in on my food IOU. Feed me, Kate, I'm wasting away.

[ ellie ]

What are you doing tomorrow night? There is a right answer. I'll wait.

[ TIM ]

» Coaching gymnastics has taught me a lot these past few weeks..
» Am I the Ted Lasso of the Bat Family???

» This is an important question.
» I just made a speech to a bunch of kids about the dangers of heating up two day old Chinese food wrong in correlation to having bad form.

[ BRUCE ]

» Do you know how hard it was to not do anything obnoxious on Father's Day?
» Yeah I know the whole alternate version, pocket dimension technicalities.
» But last year we dressed Bat-Hound up as Alfred and had him take a breakfast tray into your room.

» He dumped everything into your bed.
» You had just put Maxie Zeus back in Arkham for like the fifth time in a year.

» I have a problem.

» Hypothetically.
» Let's say I needed an x-ray to make sure a foot wasn't broken.
» Could you do that?
» As a favor.
» Y'know, hypothetically.

[ BAT FAM ]

Camping trip. We're taking a camping trip. It's mandatory. I don't care if we have to deal with Tremors - I will go full Kevin Bacon but I am not spending another night in this hotel.

[ IVY ]

..you ok?

[ AMELIA ]

Make it out alright?

I'm bouncing around the hallways if anyone needs help.

[Bat Family]

How sure are we that this isn't Ivy?

[Dick Grayson]

Hey, wanted to see if you managed to make it through the week? Or did the kids take you out already?

Finally decided on teaching youth gymnastics at the local YMCA. Classes start tomorrow at 3:30pm and will probably wrap up at 5pm, so if anyone has kids they'd like to sign up, let me know and I'll add them to the roster. Probably looking at twice a week, maybe three if the kids take to it.

That's a pretty easy gig, though, so.. Might actually look into the school's gym classes if anyone knows anything about vacancies?

How's everyone's job search going?

[ Jay

Deep dish pizza is a hate crime.

Say what you want about how weird this place is. But I never got the good night sleep like I've been getting, back in Gotham City.

[Bruce Wayne]

So you mentioned that part the reason you bought the bank was so you could help us all out with starting out own businesses and that shit. That's still an offer that's on the table, right? Cause I could use a loan.

[Future UtH Crew: Miles Morales, Panam Palmer, Dean Winchester(s) - plural ]

( Cut for Image )

OH, THANK FUCK! I can think again!

I don't know if that was just my brain torturing me for some very specific yet unknown crime or what, but the next time I get a song stuck in my head, it had better be more than just the chorus of something in a language I don't fucking understand. Jesus H. Christ.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

[...]

Dammit, Janet!

Whoever or whatever is bringing everyone here knows that it's going to implode at some point.

Right?

[ DIANA ]

Is it too on the nose if I fabricate a cave system?

[Filtered To Roy Harper]

Hey, you.

So. I had a lot of fun when we grabbed dinner and talked about various ways Dick Grayson has gotten us into trouble over the years.

I was thinking, want to do it again? Only more as a date and less talking about Dick getting us into trouble.

[Filtered Dick Grayson]

I just asked out Roy.

We might have really hit off when I first showed up here and we bonded over how much trouble you've gotten us into over the years.

Don't make that face at me.

...I don't have to see you to know you're making a face at me.

Hey..

I know Batman is a little rough around the edges and I don't exactly see eye to eye with Ted but... I could really use your expertise on something.

Okay, I am one hundred percent certain that I died. So what the fuck is this?

Keep it together Donna.

Dick Grayson, what the hell did you get me into this time?

Do people like robots? I guess there wouldn't be too much of a purpose for the little defensive guys I'm used to making. Which also means there's no use for the super astro laser flaming cupcake canon I thought was a funny if impractical idea last night. What about trick arrows? Ollie was pretty annoyed with them but I've made them work and Jason melted a guy with one so... you know.

Jesse Faden. You're just so super cool. Like in a way that both Jaybird and Kori combined couldn't match. I really want to build you something useful and equally as cool but nothing seems to be measuring up. So... tell me what you'd think would be cool and I'll scrounge up the parts and make it.






Also. Does anyone know if this place has, you know, certain meetings probably at a community center that I can attend? Jason and Kori can't really compete with Jesse but I miss them and being on my own is always kind of difficult.

You know, one of the greatest debates ever growing up in Wayne Manor was whether or not deep-dish pizza is technically a casserole or not. Pizza, after all, by definition is a flatbread.

We still don't have the answer. But I can tell you this; "It's just tomato soup in a bread bowl" almost started a war. Sides were chosen, allegiances challenged, the simple Sunday night life of a beloved New Jersey butler forever tarnished....

What's your verdict, Night Vale?


[ RedWing ]

Are the [...] are the clothes in the living room clean or dirty? I refuse to do a sniff test. [...] There is a shirt. On the lamp.

My abuela always said when things start going sideways, you gotta either roll with it or get out of the way. I'm rolling. This whole thing stops being so weird eventually, right?

Hi, I'm Ella. I'm told I might know some people here?

So.

I guess I'm still here; I guess this is a thing that's happening.

Please be patient If I don't understand the emojis? I'm a senior citizen.