Welcome to Night Vale

So, the woman who brought up getting together a roller derby team has begged off trying to do it. I honestly could use an outlet I volunteered to take up the cause and set one up. I'm not sure if there are teams in nearby towns we could play against but if we got enough people we could do some playing.

I just need to know who is interested and some ideas for names.

And in the name of curiosity, what is the worst injury you've ever gotten or given yourself? I've been shot a few times and then there was the falling to my death.

Almost been here two weeks now and I probably shouldn't still question everything about this place, but does an ocean normally just pop up around here? Not that I'm complaining, it reminds me of home.

The fair has been interesting though, and I did win a goldfish. I haven't come up with a name yet, but I'm leaning towards Carrot.

I've never actually been to a fair before and I have to say: best kept secret ever.

Anyone want to go again tonight?

If anyone's interested, there's a booth at the fair selling what seems to be pretty damn authentic butterbeer and pumpkin juice. He said he had chocolate frogs and they'd sold out, but I don't believe he's got authentic ones of those.

I really should have seen this coming.

Now I feel really bad about giving the last oracle such a hard time over not expecting the shipwreck Still, she could have prepared Water Breathing. She knew she was going to be on a ship.

This is a very nice town you all have here other than all the ways it's absolutely awful and it's not the worst place I've ever been. Granted, I've been to some terrible places

Breathe, Adaine. Just breathe.

It's like Jawbone always says...sometimes you just have to take a bunch of extra anxiety meds and cure the poison damage later.

Does anyone know which plane this is?

The sun will come out tomorrow, they sing. But past performance is not an indicator of future results.

Welcome to Night Vale.

Exciting news, residents of Night Vale, and displaced individuals who are - for unknown purposes - also residents of Night Vale. The fair has come to our little desert town. Why has it come? Where has it come from? These and many other questions remain a mystery, but the fact remains that the fair is here and it is not going anywhere. The fair cannot be stopped. Cannot be reasoned with. It is here and there is nothing we can do about it.

Which is pretty great actually, since the fair seems super fun. With the rides and the games and the carnival foods. I know I'm looking forward to a funnel cake and some lemonade. It feels like an eternity since the last time there was a fair in Night Vale. Perhaps it was an eternity. Time is a funny thing.

In any case, I hope everyone enjoys this exciting summer fun. I know I will.

Those notifications are [...] that's a lot to take in at once.

It has to be a mistake though right? Or a really weird sugar-induced dream.

» I have a problem.

» Hypothetically.
» Let's say I needed an x-ray to make sure a foot wasn't broken.
» Could you do that?
» As a favor.
» Y'know, hypothetically.

D'yawannaknowhat?

I think this town is overdue for a good old fashioned backyard barbecue.

Gonna get the Webers going out back of the station and some Grade A quality NV beef this weekend. Come on by and if you're feelin' generous, pitch a loonie in a bucket to go toward repairs and equipment for us EMS folk - but in no way is it mandatory.

Ribs, steaks, burgers (not of the bison variety, unfortunately) chicken, and of course.. hot dogs for the kiddos. Maybe some games although that's not exactly my forte. Fireworks, weather-permitting.

All are welcome but ya gotta bring somethin' to contribute to the outdoor cookery. Plates, utensils, side dishes, desserts, alcohol.. Get creative but don't show up empty-handed.

Things have changed a lot in the last sixty years, and while I've watched it happen, there's a lot I haven't done and now I'm overwhelmed with options. So, Night Vale: If you suddenly found yourself with a case of mortality, what would be the first thing you do?

It's nothing fancy, but I've decided to open The Roadhouse. If you're looking for a place to drink, shoot pool, and just kind of unwind in a low-key environment, we're your place. First drink on the house for Night Vale displacees.

[ CLAIRE ]

You still interested in a job?

[ QUINN ]

Pack your stuff -- my house is here and we're blowing the apartment building.

[ LAUREL ]

So, funny thing. I found my house on my run this morning. Is that something that happens here regularly, buildings just get dropped in?

So I know everyone's got their things and there's fight club and bake offs and what have you but here's a new thing. Anyone interested in a non-competitive, beer all night bowling league? I never thought bowling would be my thing but I spend so much time at the bowling alley that now I'm like, sure, why not? Maybe I'll charm the pins and balls to glow in the dark or sparkle or something.

What time will your moon turn into a strawberry? I would like to see it.

Uh...

Anybody want some cookies? I made too many. Way too many. A million too many. Like, probably could feed the entire building too many. I don't know how this happened?

It's the first day of summer!!!

Let's jam out at the waterfront (where's the water? who knows!).

Taking song requests - what's your favorite summer song?

Oh and don't forget the sunscreen unless you wanna turn into a lobster!

Alright, who wants in on another climbing / diving / beach day? Equipment not needed. All skill levels welcome.



private to cindy.

Could I bother you to put up some safety webbing?

private to wanda maximoff.

I hear you're the one to talk to for daycare. Do you accept mogwais by any chance?

Is there anyone else who got stung still not back on their feet? I'm trying to figure out if it's normal or if the venom has messed up the implant in my spine.

Also, I was kicking around ideas on what to do because my previous line of work is not really an option. Would anyone be interested in a class on computers? I know there are a lot of people here from places where the technology is different or doesn't exist.

Okay, I'm bored, traumatised and sore. My boyfriend is fetching ice cream and there's fuck all I want to watch, so I'm sitting here trying not to think about the plants trying to attack again.

So, Night Vale, it's time for some pre-college intrigue. Fuck, Marry, Kill. You say you're in, I'll give you three Night Vale transplants, you pick whom to fuck, marry or kill.

You are welcome to get in on it yourselves, this is officially distraction central.

Anyone notice how this place just has a random shit-fit, has us all unbalanced, and then chills out like we're the lunatics? I've never felt so gaslighted by a whole freakin' universe before.

[ BILLY, KATE & LOKI (616) ]

What are you losers doing now? I'm making Ropa Vieja now my place isn't a jungle and you dicks should come up.

[ IVY, JULIE MOLINA, ARTHUR CURRY, LETO ATREIDES & HERMIONE ]

Y'all doing okay? I know the first portal is the hardest, but figured I'd see how you were doing post-break out?