Welcome to Night Vale

[Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III]

First of all, you have the best names. Dude it's like... seven names and a number combined? I only have one. Doesn't even compare. I bet you have some kind of title too, right?

I've heard through the grapevine that you're some kind of wizard when it comes to guns. A man in a place with actual wizards that chooses to make and use guns. Do you realize how bad ass that is? Because it's pretty friggen bad ass.

I'm Gabriel by the way. The Archangel. Maybe you've heard of me? I don't know what the pantheon is like where you come from but -- I mean I'm not trying to outshine you. Like I could, even. Just, you know, if you need literally anything I can get it for you. More ammo? Supplies? Maybe? I've got you man.

You know, one of the greatest debates ever growing up in Wayne Manor was whether or not deep-dish pizza is technically a casserole or not. Pizza, after all, by definition is a flatbread.

We still don't have the answer. But I can tell you this; "It's just tomato soup in a bread bowl" almost started a war. Sides were chosen, allegiances challenged, the simple Sunday night life of a beloved New Jersey butler forever tarnished....

What's your verdict, Night Vale?


[ RedWing ]

Are the [...] are the clothes in the living room clean or dirty? I refuse to do a sniff test. [...] There is a shirt. On the lamp.

[Napoleon Solo & Ilya Kuryakin]

Hi guys, so I've wanted to do this sooner but then people were very good haired llamas and it got tabled.

I thought I'd invite you two to dinner to a) thank Napoleon for treating me to the (not to be dramatic but) best Christmas of recent memory while I was broke and new and b) celebrate Ilya's return.

I know we don't know each other at all, Ilya but I think it's something to be celebrated. And a work-friend of Napoleon's is a work-friend of mine.

So what do you say? Oh and pick a restaurant, we're either going there or getting delivery, you do not want me to cook. Trust me.

Do people like robots? I guess there wouldn't be too much of a purpose for the little defensive guys I'm used to making. Which also means there's no use for the super astro laser flaming cupcake canon I thought was a funny if impractical idea last night. What about trick arrows? Ollie was pretty annoyed with them but I've made them work and Jason melted a guy with one so... you know.

Jesse Faden. You're just so super cool. Like in a way that both Jaybird and Kori combined couldn't match. I really want to build you something useful and equally as cool but nothing seems to be measuring up. So... tell me what you'd think would be cool and I'll scrounge up the parts and make it.






Also. Does anyone know if this place has, you know, certain meetings probably at a community center that I can attend? Jason and Kori can't really compete with Jesse but I miss them and being on my own is always kind of difficult.

Ok. So how many of us are teens here? I have an idea for something but if there isn't many of us I don't know if it will be worth it so...?

Filtered against Illya Kuryakin

Does anyone know anything about Illya Kuryakin? I know he was one of those turned into a Llama but nothing else.

Any future people know how to create a holodeck?

Marvel

Have any of you seen Fandaral? I went by and didn't see him and he's not responding to my messages.

[Loki (616)]

Loki, I'm only going to ask this nicely once.

Did you make Tony Stark obsessed with Hermione Granger because he was mean to Billy?

You know, as much as I don't particularly enjoy the concept of being trapped in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of my erstwhile nemeses, it does have certain fringe benefits.

[Billy Kaplan]

Billy. Captain America is threatening me again.

Mr. Amos Burton, my good man, I've been told you're good with your hands. Mechanical, I mean. Put things together, takes things apart again. What have you worked on? I'd like to know more about your experience and what you've worked on and hear all about it. What d'you say? I'm a handy worker myself, chief engineer on a spaceship and such, but I've heard you're the best.