Welcome to Night Vale

This bloody place, I swear to the Maker.

[Thedosians]
Guess who's standing in the Black Emporium scratching Chauncy? I can't find Xenon for the life of me, which y'know where's he able to run off to right, but everything else seems to be in order?

This is the weirdest day. And aye, I'm counting the llama's.

[LAW ENFORCEMENT LEADERS]

Hi. My name is Cara Dune. I was am a Marshall on Nevarro City of the planet of Nevarro which as far as I can tell is kind of like a mayor and sheriff around these parts. Before that I was a shock trooper. Any position you have that I could fill?

Hello. I am Julian Bashir, Chief Medical Officer of the Federation space station Deep Space 9.

I am told there are other Starfleet officers here. If that is truly the case, I am eager to make your acquaintance.

This city certainly seems strange fascinating.

private.

Stardate 74567.5

It seems that I have once again been sent to another period in time. While it does appear to be Earth and is in close proximity to our last experience in the early 2020s, nothing I can find in terms of history reflects what we know of the situation. This indicates that this may well be a separate timeline all together.

There does seem to be something of a Starfleet presence here, but I have heard nothing of my own crew.

For the moment, I will observe the situation and hope that perhaps it will be sorted in a timely fashion.

I do hope the others are safe.

This is...different.

Also, sorry to the person who gave me this thing who I almost punched and was still willing to show me how to use it. I was definitely a little shocked at being dragged here, so my first instinct was to just attack and then ask questions. Not always the best choice.

Anyway, hi, I'm Suki.

[Tony Stark (616)]

We need to talk.

My girlfriend is here, which is great! Really great.

You know what else is great? Cowboys.

arthur morgan.

Mr. Morgan, sir, you are so cool. You're just really great.

Can you teach me everything? I want to be as cool as you.

Ok, I'm pretty sure dimension travel wasn't on the list of things to happen to me today or anytime soon...

Hi, I'm Kamala Khan and I'm new here.

[ tasha & robocop ]

stop being reclusive russian/fake russian jerks and come help me look into a disappearing russian submarine that may or may not be in the sand for a woman who may or may not be from another world who lost memories of said world but totally didn't turn everyone into llamas.

k thnx.

We have had another influx of people so, hello! I am Zelda, one of the Housing Assistants and thus very happy to answer questions alongside my colleagues (those being Katie Bell, Wanda Maximoff, Kate Bishop, and Darcy Lewis). A quick run down of the popular ones:
1) How did we get here?

We are not sure but we are looking into it.

2) How do we get home?

While it is true that some of us have returned this does not seem to be voluntary, so it does not appear like we can.

3) What do we do for money?

We have a list of businesses we are happy to offer you, and will help you draft letters to.

Now for some updates. Us Housing Assistants are busy with a variety of projects, one of them being lessons. I, as I am of a world that does not have this measure of technology and is more centered around magic, am happy to provide lessons on the modern world. I will let the others chime in with what they offer.

Another project is our very own clinic. I am happy to announce we have secured the finances for a building, and supplies. Katie reached out to the healers, and if the healers would be kind enough to provide us a list of supplies that would be wonderful. Do not worry, and let me handle the budget. On to another matter. We shall need a name for the clinic. Feel free to suggest one and whatever works the best is what we shall use.

The other projects are still in progress, so please keep an eye out for those. If you would like a listening ear, I can always be found at 1211.

[Arthur Morgan]
How are you feeling?

[Eros]
Hello! Speaking of projects I am wanting to host a very informal lunch, just so we can all meet one another in a setting that might feel a little relaxed. You are, however, very good at throwing things like that and it is always best to consult with experts on the matter so I should like to know if you would be up for helping me in this matter?

[Cheryl Mason]
Hello, we have not spoken much, which I hope to change, but I made you this. I hope you like it.

Favorite things to do around here on a Saturday night: go.

[ FILTERED » CHLOE DECKER & LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR ]

I got my hands on Cards Against Humanity, and we are playing, I'm not taking no for an answer.

Do you think anything you studied at the Night Vale college would be applicable to a real-world education?

Or just... more weird.

[ MANDO ]

Grogu has expressed interest in shopping. Without you. For something specific.

Just so you know I'm going to take him to the mall, and you don't think I've decided to kidnap him and make him my child.

[ BILLY ]

I need your helping picking a gift for someone. I feel you'll be the best to help.

Given you understand how hard it is to pick present for someone when they're not exactly human.

[ PETER ]

What does it mean when someone expresses interest in spending time with you, which you enjoy. But also gives you a book full of... well, queer men.

Question for those magically inclined like me, would any of you maybe be interested in taking on a student or protégé? Doesn't have to be a full-time commitment, I know a pretty good deal of magic on my own, I've just...never had any formal training so a lot of my magic has been mostly just dumb luck or guesswork on my part. I'm pretty naturally talented on my own, which I guess is the perks of having a fairy and a god for parents but I wouldn't mind having an actual teacher.

I'm a pretty quick study when it comes to magic. I know most basic spells, and I can turn into a dragon. But I wouldn't mind learning some more complicated things.

I can definitely pay, too, so no one's just giving away their services for free.

What kind of mindfuckery bullshit is this? Saburo, you bastard, what the hell did you do to me? Where am I?

Hey!
Um. Hi!
Hello.
Salutations
Good evening
GOOD MORROW TO

Hi. Hey? You don't know me, but my name is Tony Stark. I'm not from around here either. So it seems like we have that in common. Like probably a lot of things. I also read books. I could show you. Some of the books, I mean. That I've read.

I mean, I can't, because I don't have them here. But I do have an e-reader. Do you like e-readers? You probably don't, because you like physical books. A lot of book people don't like e-readers. But I make a really good e-reader. Maybe you'd like the one I make? I could make it smell like a real book, if you wanted.

You know, you might like this. I actually read an article in the New Yorker about the reason books smell like that. It's something in the glue, and when it breaks down, it smells kind of like bourbon. Not that I drink. I'm an alcoholic. I mean, I'm recovering, so I'm sober. So I don't drink bourbon. It just, like. It's a fact that it smells like it. You probably don't drink bourbon either, because you're like 18.

I was wondering if maybe I could get your opinion on an interpersonal conflict? You know, because you're very smart and insightful.

[Filtered: Tony Stark (MCU)]

So I think - um - So I think the Tony Stark from my universe is suffering some kind of psychotic break. I thought - I thought maybe you might [...] have some advice.

[Filtered: Carol Danvers (616)]

Hi Carol.

It's good to see you.

Ms Prince.

I ... I made you something.

( Not an IC cut )

[Achilles]
Hello my good man! I heard you were a man of heroics. A man of action. A man of discerning taste. Would you like to be my guest of honour for the upcoming grand opening of the pub I co-own with my cohorts, The Pour Judgement? I will provide you with details when we settle on a date but it would be a great honour to have you there. I think it would really lend the place an air of quality if you were present.