Welcome to Night Vale

You know.... There's an entire wing of Hell exactly like this.

Bit more screaming around the singing, but it's exactly like this. Just a bit more evidence this is a torture realm. Still impressed.

[Magic-Users]

How many of you have experience with reality-warping. And, I'm mostly asking because I feel like we should probably talk about how advanced the reality-shifting capabilities of this place seem to be.

I know that so far, everything has been rather temporary. But I'm worried about whether we're prepared for it if it stops being temporary. While I don't want to fight the magic of this place until we absolutely have too - maybe we should come up with a few contingency plans? Just in case?

[Tony Stark (616)]

Hey, I've got a question for you.

Whoever or whatever is bringing everyone here knows that it's going to implode at some point.

Right?

[ DIANA ]

Is it too on the nose if I fabricate a cave system?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES

Happy birthday to me!!!!

It's probably not even my birthday.

I am surrounded by a small army of...

If these are meant to be me? I am not amused.

The desert.

Whatever the hell decided to bring me here must have a really twisted sense of humor.

I'd find it funny if I didn't have a kingdom I'm supposed to be running back home.

Anyone got a pool I can use for a few hours a day and occasionally sleep in? An ocean is preferred, but I'm definitely not finding one of those around here.

As it appears my portals are fruitless endeavors and nothing more than a waste of energy? I suppose I should introduce myself properly? Or at least that is what I have gathered.

I am Yennefer of Vengerberg.

Though it’s decidedly minor... is everyone beaded necklace/jazz band/mask free?

[...] Ignore the irony of that last one.


[ private to Bruce Banner ]

The mood hearts and sweat was
I do hope there’s not a mask fused to that handsome face..

( Pulled any rabbits out of hats lately? )

Is there like [...] Something weird going on?



[Wanda Maximoff (MCU)]

So don't freak out.

But I think someone is using some kind of mind control to make Tony Stark crazy crazier? And I don't really know what's up with that? Um, my Tony Stark, not your Tony Stark.

[Tony Stark (616)]

Hey, can we talk?

Do you think anything you studied at the Night Vale college would be applicable to a real-world education?

Or just... more weird.

[ MANDO ]

Grogu has expressed interest in shopping. Without you. For something specific.

Just so you know I'm going to take him to the mall, and you don't think I've decided to kidnap him and make him my child.

[ BILLY ]

I need your helping picking a gift for someone. I feel you'll be the best to help.

Given you understand how hard it is to pick present for someone when they're not exactly human.

[ PETER ]

What does it mean when someone expresses interest in spending time with you, which you enjoy. But also gives you a book full of... well, queer men.

I've got several questions, but let's start with something easy.

What the fuck are all of these people doing in my house?

Your Captain has been found and subdued semi-peacefully.

He [...] appears to have been stricken with lycanthropy at some point in his life. The dormancy no longer holds here, it seems.

We were able to change him back but he may need help, in the future, to manage it with the lunar cycle.

💙

[Loki Laufeyson (616), Zatanna Zatara, Wanda Maximoff]

Um. Hi, Zatanna? I'm Billy. Bruce Banner told me I should reach out to you.

I'm not how well you know him but um, Steve - Steve Rogers. He's missing and there's something wrong with him. We're trying to find him. I think we might be able to use magic, together, to get a good read on where he is. The atmosphere of Night Vale really interferes with what I'm usually able to do so I thought it might work better if we all met up and tried together?

Steve...might be dangerous right now.

[Just to Wanda]

I know you don't really do magic like the Wanda back home does, but I'd really like it if you came with? If you don't feel comfortable trying to use your abilities - I'll understand but I'd like the moral support!

❤️It seems as though
💜 Fuuu

💜💛 traeh sijome raeppasid
🧡🤍 TRAEH SIJOME RAEPPASID!


💙💜 I am not a fan.

[ mutants. ]

I really hope none of you are llamas, because I am literally not dealing with it, so you can manage your fur and shit yourself if you are.

[ steve. ]

Have any random animals caused utter chaos in that pretty mansion of yours?

I have a favour to ask, darling.

[ bruce. ]

How is my favourite scientist holding up?

This week has certainly taken a wild turn. I know some of you are quite altruistic with your abilities and willing to help those who've been llamafied but... Perhaps messing with Night Vale's magic right away isn't particularly smart?

Hello Prudence here I am some kind of tall animal but I did not do this to myself.

[diana.]

I bought a bank.

I drunk bought a bank. But I bought a bank either way.

Which is good. Since apparently I have so much child support that needs paying.

[zatanna.]

Is there anything else that's going to drop out of the sky like a twelve tonne weight that I should know about?

[batkids.]

Impulse property buying is still entirely a reflex, and apparently far less complicated even when in a pocket realm.

» Well you're certainly having a week.

» Have you started drinking yet?