Welcome to Night Vale

Toto we're not in Kansas anymore... or Africa, for that matter. Night Vale? Never heard of it but I'm getting some major Stow on Side feels. I just really hope this is the Bea version and not Allister because that Buffalo Bill wannabe Mimikyu gives me the heebie jeebies in my jellies.

Also this is definitely a felony in some regions. Just throwing that out there.

You know, they could have picked a size appropriate device for us small folk. I can practically wear this thing like a backpack. I think I may have to... my hands are already tiny and prime real estate - I can't afford to have them full constantly.

Oh... oh no. OH NO. Quick — I can feel my little heartbeat slowing and that is most definitely a sign of death's icy cold grip reaching out for my pudgy little body.

I need your best cup of coffee STAT!

I might have a concussion from the fight club yesterday but I can't stop thinking that one day we're all gonna wake up overridden by tribbles and it's going to be horrifying and hilarious.

Anyway I wanna buy drinks to all the losers. Maybe icy drinks. For all the busted lips. Maybe just ice cause I'm not made of money

Just in case this wasn't clear before, Gwen Stacy is the coolest friend!



Filtered to Eddie & Gwen

So Gwen and I were talking, has V tried s'mores? Because we're thinking s'mores and a movie.

( Read more... )

You know, April is usually a weird month. What with April Fool's day and Easter and all of the other religious stuff that goes with that. And it always turns into this battle of when it's good to go out and not. And while that was definitely less of an issue here, there was just a whole other brand of weirdness I wasn't entirely prepared to comprehend.

Why are Yoshis real? Like Chocobos I get. There's Final Fantasy people here, for fuck's sake. That's to be expected. But... Yoshis?

I really hope May gives us a bit of a breather.

I feel your pain, but I'm relieved that I'm not the only one who woke up with this funny little surprise that won't come off.

So I've embraced it.

Nope.

[ john allerdyce ]

I look like a god damn My Little Pony. But not the ponies the weird "Equestria Girls" versions. Don't ask me how I know this.

I guess I'm going to have to figure out how to take care of a bird. On the plus side, naming my egg didn't turn out to be the worst idea I've ever had. Zeppelin is actually pretty awesome. It's pretty rare things like this work in my favor.

If anyone needs help getting rid of whatever hatched from their egg, I'm around and pretty handy with that sort of thing.

Anyone who is dealing with those yellow yolk monsters:

If it's possible, could someone put a piece of one in the jar for me? I'd like to run some tests on it.

I have been betrayed! This is the bad kind of excitement!

Rebel is a bad egg, very bad, very gross.

Someone help me with this pile of yoke garbage, please!

Alright the weird desert town aesthetic has kind of worn off a bit.

There's gotta be some high octane activities to do around here that don't include punching each others lights out. Skydiving? Base jumping? Free climbing? Any takers?

There is a tendency to forget that darkness automatically brings about fear in the world.

But I have already got a piece of the darkness. But the trouble, it begins in the light if you come around here. In the light, trouble just glistens in this city. Bright and seductive, like a princess diamond.

[Garak]

How you been keeping, stranger?

So what's going on around here is people are finding unidentified eggs on the ground and just keeping them to see what they do? That seems the best idea?

[Filtered to Percival Pinkerton]

So I've noticed, it's not really an apartment town.

Or a real estate town in general. Which you'd think with the constant disappearances it'd be a real buyer's market. Damn shame it's not.

But I've found three within a reasonable budget range based on current crypto projections. So what are your thoughts?

ONE is nice, I've told has "good bones" which I'm optimistically interpreting metaphorically. The kitchen is to die for and that floor is inexplicably in a laundry room. It's deceptively cheap. And for some reason has been on the market for five years.

TWO is dirt cheap on near five acres of land outside of town. It comes furnished and also comes with surprising amount of boxed wine. It technically is exempt from property taxes. I kind of hate everything about else about it right now, so it'd need a lot of work to be liveable and is still small. But imagine it open floorplan with a new kitchen.

THREE is the left side of a duplex. It's 17,000 square feet. Which isn't a typo I've been promised. But, walking through, probably 90% of that might be behind an unlockable door up the ladder in that closet in the second bedroom that abuts against the right side of the duplex that the realtor refused to acknowledge or answer questions about. Also it kind of looks like the 70s died there, but that's your vibe, right? And I am feeling that kitchen. But 3 bedrooms and neighbors who don't even have a wifi connection point to properly screen them? I don't know.

I guess we could always wait for something to happen to the family in that brick place you liked in Golden Dunes.

Well I started my day off finding an egg. Do I need to keep it warm? Am I a mom now? Do I have to start wearing mom jeans?

I don't want to call it 'it', so maybe Rebel? That's a good neutral name, right?

Or maybe it's one big promotion for AC.

Deep dish pizza is a hate crime.

You know, I was never really a fan of this level in Super Mario.

I’m Sam.

Did I get kidnapped?

I really thought these days were over for me. There isn't anyone you can use me and my daughter as leverage against.

Your network is nice though. Not a lot of exploitable security flaws. Kudos to the creator.

Never get bored, Google yourself, and read fanfiction written about yourself.

Or do, if that's what you're into.

So.... Did anyone else just have Gangnam Style stuck in their head for a hot second? I thought we left that back in 2012.

Eddie I'm sorry about the heavy drumming yesterday.

Also... HEY! DEAN WINCHESTER - I'm not crazy, you're crazy! I had the weird Night Vale-ness and could only speak in song. And yes that was Ozzie. Jerk.

[ mcu parker ]

1. How are you doing?
2. You Rick Rolled me! I thought we were friends!

You know, I'm starting to think this whole "rest in peace" thing is a load of crap. Especially if I'm apparently not going to stay dead. But at least I'm not being forced to do an Egyptian god's dirty work this time, so that's a plus.

I need a beer.