Welcome to Night Vale

Toto we're not in Kansas anymore... or Africa, for that matter. Night Vale? Never heard of it but I'm getting some major Stow on Side feels. I just really hope this is the Bea version and not Allister because that Buffalo Bill wannabe Mimikyu gives me the heebie jeebies in my jellies.

Also this is definitely a felony in some regions. Just throwing that out there.

You know, they could have picked a size appropriate device for us small folk. I can practically wear this thing like a backpack. I think I may have to... my hands are already tiny and prime real estate - I can't afford to have them full constantly.

Oh... oh no. OH NO. Quick — I can feel my little heartbeat slowing and that is most definitely a sign of death's icy cold grip reaching out for my pudgy little body.

I need your best cup of coffee STAT!

[8th May 2021, The morning after Fight Club]

... fuck, I think my bruises' bruises have bruises.

Same time next month, yeah?

I might have a concussion from the fight club yesterday but I can't stop thinking that one day we're all gonna wake up overridden by tribbles and it's going to be horrifying and hilarious.

Anyway I wanna buy drinks to all the losers. Maybe icy drinks. For all the busted lips. Maybe just ice cause I'm not made of money

[Backdated to right after Fight Club]

I lost both of my fights, really badly, to really good fighters, but I had a good time and I hope both of you did too.

Looking forward to next month if it happens again.

[Gabriel]

Can you heal me while I whine wordlessly at you?

I just want to thank everyone who came out last night, participants and spectators alike. We had a pretty awesome crowd, so again, thank you for showing up.

What are everyone's thoughts about making this a monthly charity fundraiser? Prizes, still, but I feel like we could raise a good bit of money for good causes.

[Dick Grayson]

Hey, wanted to see if you managed to make it through the week? Or did the kids take you out already?