Welcome to Night Vale

I am happy to announce that our open laboratories are now officially finished with all remodels and upgrades.

If you have not gotten a chance to acquire a space of your own, this is the time. We don't have many rules. Other than limited testing on humans and human like lifeforms and nothing that will cause the destruction of our town.

Also, I could use some office help. Just some people to help fill out paperwork and acquire things for people.

Okay, I'm gonna ask nice once: who the fuck's a girl gotta threaten to get sent home?

Honestly, the number of individuals capable of sending me to another plane is dwindling. On account of how they're mostly all dead

Artagan? Is this your doing? Because honestly...you really did not think this through if it is.

My wife will kill you. She's a terrifyingly competent woman.

I'm supposed to be out on the pitch in less than twenty and instead I've found myself - where, exactly? I've never even heard of Night Vale. What's there to do round here? Someone mentioned there might be people I know round here too, so - speak up if you know me? Name's Angelina Johnson, most recently living in Wales, Holyhead to be specific. But from Croydon, just south of London, U.K.