Welcome to Night Vale - December 17th, 2020

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December 17th, 2020

theconstruct

theconstruct

theconstruct

10:02 AM

theconstruct

A week into being owned by a cat, here's what Holden-the-cat's taught me about cats:

They sleep 99% of the time.

Half of that time will be on me.

The purring kinda makes him sound like a churning retrofitted engine. It's pretty cute.

You can call him anything you want; won't answer. I've gone and named him after the biggest troublemaker in the universe, 'cause it seemed aspirational.

Still haven't figured out what to feed him. Pizza and lasagna seems tolerable, but he's also really into glass? Pointers appreciated.

Also, there's still time to get that special someone an end-of-year car! We've got a limited time offer of fifty percent off any three-wheel, engine-free, gently used vehicles. Steering wheel optional. The artfully clawed paint job is a Night Vale classic and included in this amazing deal.

Get your gently used vehicle today!

[Ray]

So I still got that coupon for a free coffin measuring. Wanna be my plus one? Figure we can maybe grab a bite after at Tourniquet or Pinkberry after. Or check out the Museum of Forbidden Technologies? Whatever you're in the mood for.

Tags: !network post, ₴inactive player: cia, ₴inactive player: rae, ₴inactive: josephus miller, ₴inactive: peter venkman, ₴inactive: prudence

gwendolynstacy

gwendolynstacy

ɴ ᴇ ᴛ ᴡ ᴏ ʀ ᴋ

gwendolynstacy

7:55 PM

gwendolynstacy

Dear Night Vale Bear!Santa..

All I want for Christmas is for The Killers to show up and do one show of all their Christmas hits. You already have the desert. All you need is Brandon Flowers to sing about cowboys and coal and homicidal Santas.

And maybe some snow.

Please and thank you,
Gwen Stacy

[ PARKER + MILES ]

You guys have plans for Christmas? We have couch room, granted we still have couches with Ham practicing with his mallet.

[ HARRY OSBORN ]

You should stay with Eddie, Ham, and I for Christmas. You can meet a different version of Pete and Miles? But you really shouldn't be alone. Because it'll bother me the entire time.

[ KATE BISHOP ]

Have we heard anything on our anonymous gift yet? I'm a little concerned there's been silence. What if he's really pissed? WHAT IF WE UPSET AMERICA'S ASS?

Tags: !network post, -player: diana, control: jesse faden, ₴inactive player: rae, ₴inactive: gwen stacy

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